America's Next Top Model

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Shoot To Kill

Pearl announces that, for the first time in Top Model history, all of the designers have provided items for the challenge's prize. As a result, it's worth over $18,000. Fierce! And the winner is Analeigh. She's blissful, and Pearl tells her that her prize will be at home in the apartment. Analeigh feels incredible to be not just a pretty girl, but a pretty girl who can book high fashion jobs. McKey feels like a doofus with only a mystifying accent to comfort her.

When the girls return home, Analeigh's expensive clothes are waiting for her and the others drool with envy. I hope drool spots come out of expensive clothes when you take them to the cleaner. McKey tries to put on a smile, but you can tell she's seething inside. She interviews that she would have been the challenge winner had she not been "dis-quoooool-ified" for being late. But, says McKey, she's not here to win prooooyzes, she's heee-ahhh to be America's Next Tooop Mooodel. And to annoy us all with this flippin' accent! Seriously, you guys, it's killing me. Meanwhile, Elina confessionalizes that she's jealous. She doesn't think Analeigh should have won the challenge. Instead, she thinks that she or McKey should have taken the prize. Way to stand behind the friend who shaved your hoo-ha mere days ago.

Tyra Mail! "You've never been exposed like this before, but you'll be amazed after. Love, Tyra." My, that IS intriguing! Sam hopes it's not a nude shoot, because she doesn't want to be naked. Marjorie, meanwhile, is feeling more Eeyore than usual. She did so badly at the go-sees, she's just hoping that she can do well at her photo shoot. As Marjorie makes her way upstairs, Sam says that she feels bad for her and wonders what the heck happened. Elina replies that Marjorie just got too nervous. Marjorie runs a bath. Analeigh sits on the side of the tub this time and gives Marjorie a pep talk. She tells Marjorie that everyone sees her as competition, and that she and McKey are the only ones who haven't yet been in the bottom two. Analeigh wants to shake her and say, "Friggin' Marjorie you're amazing, you're beautiful," and then slap her, and then say, "Just get it into your head you make a great model." And then make sweet, passionate love with the help of some choice souvenirs picked up in the Red Light District. But Marjorie is in no mood for lovemaking. She doesn't see what the other girls see in her. She interviews that she's starting to believe that maybe this is a hoax and that she was led to believe she could model, but really she can't. Finally Tyra Banks gets her revenge against France, the country that defiled her when she was a mere 16 years old! Sorry, Marjorie. Marjorie tells Analeigh that this experience is so stressful - let her repeat, SO STRESSFUL - and that she hated today. She thinks that doing poorly in the go-sees will get her in the bottom two or sent home. That's for sure. Sorry, Marge. Analeigh tells Marjorie not to bring this energy to the shoot, and Marjorie just stares at her with the giant eyes of a scrappy French street urchin. While you hear the faint strains of "Castle on a Cloud" playing in the distance, we head to commercials.

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America's Next Top Model

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