America's Next Top Model
The Girl The Lionesses Are Hunting

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Tea And No Sympathy

Norelle says that she's surprised to have made it to the top five. "Holy crap," Norelle says, and I think that's kind of become her catchphrase. It has none of the subtlety of "What you talkin' bout, Willis?" but does have kind of a nice ring to it. Eva says that girls keep getting picked off, and that she's going to give all of her effort and energy during the competition. Ann says that she's surprised at the way her relationship with Eva has changed. It went very fast, because the two immediately clicked. Here we have flashbacks of the two during semifinals toasting to their ultimate fate as the final two, and of Ann freaking out and telling Eva that she'll be in her wedding (as the groom). See, it's the trajectory of the typical lesbian relationship. You meet at an Indigo Girls concert, fighting for the last Amstel Light at the bar. Something clicks, and the next day the U-Haul is packed and you're sharing a one-bedroom with five cats between you. Then David Crosby gives you his sperm, and all seems well until one of you realizes that she's not really gay, or sleeps with her soft butch security-guard ex, or wanders the Hollywood Hills high on ecstasy. That's about where Ann and Eva are right now.

Ann says that, contrary to what some people might think, she is not in Eva's shadow. She also says that her opinion of Eva has changed drastically. Here we see Eva freaking out after the soup commercial and hoping that Norelle bites it. Ann adds, "It's really annoying when you know she's gonna take a good picture, you know she's gonna do well, and I have absolutely terrible pictures." And that, I must say, sounds like a bit of jealousy.

In the van to their next assignment, Eva makes small talk with Koko while the other girls sport looks of utter tedium. Ann has her arm all kinds of around Norelle. Amanda interviews that a lot of people in the house don't want to be around Eva, and that, given the rules of mob mentality and human nature and competition, the house has to have a target. Ann says that now she sees how Eva fakes being nice, and she knows that people don't buy into it. Ann seriously needs to chill the fuck out.

The girls enter their new Japanese home, which is awesome. Eva says that the quiet and serene atmosphere calls for a calmer personality, and that she's been more relaxed and quiet in this environment. The girls must share two rooms, so Pink Positive stays together while Amanda and Yaya take the other room. Amanda and Yaya give each other a big hug, and Yaya says that the two of them emulate Japanese style. Kumeo Koike, their homestay owner, gives them tea and a Japanese sweet made of beans. Norelle says that she doesn't understand Japanese food, and that if she ever eats Japanese food, it's Panda Express. Which, kind of not the same thing. Mr. Koike tells the girls that they have to go to their first lesson in Tokyo, and Ann repeats, "'Resson'?" And I cracked up at this, because I am evil. He tells them not to be rate. The girls and Mr. Koike do a mutual bow, and Yaya says something in Japanese.

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America's Next Top Model

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