Jay goes up to her and says, "You prooooobably don't want to say, 'I had a baby nine months ago and I thought my life was over.' It's like, you want to talk about things in a positive way." Ya think? Jay tells us that after she got this note, Renee totally turned it around. In her next take, she not only manages to avoid scarring her kid for life, she throws Jay and Brent into orgasmic fits when she ends with, "Little old Renee, you know, wife and mother. I just feel easy, breezy, and beautiful." They love it, and Jay tells her it was disgustingly good.
Next up is Jaslene. She says that she loved her scenario, because she lives for the fabulous life. She is wearing a silver sequined top and short shorts and generally looks like a refugee from Xanadu. And the way she's wielding around her choppers as she speaks makes it look like she's going to roller skate right through your TV screen and eat you like a kabob. Jay tells her that he really needs Cha Cha to come out, and he wants Jaslene to act like she's talking to her friend about her fabulous life. Her first take was too tame for her normally outsize personality. Jay says that this is unfortunate, because today is the day that they want to see Jaslene's true self. Wait until the full moon at midnight. She does another take and throws in a line in Spanish, which Jay and Brent love. It must be better, because they call it a wrap.
And now, Cover Girl photo shoots! Natasha tells us that Caridee is teaching her how to prolong [sic] her neck. And you know, until this episode, I hadn't really noticed it, but Natasha has the neck of a football player from Pittsburgh. And I'm from Pittsburgh, so I would know. She cracks herself up during her shoot, and Jim notes that though Natasha is a fun girl and loves to laugh, she actually has trouble smiling when she's not laughing. It's like she can't fake it. That's good news for Stuart, I guess. She gives Jim a big hug after the shoot, and his uncomfortable look and awkward smile make me suspect that he just got a big boner.
Next up is Jaslene. She notes how hard it is to keep smiling for so long. It isn't quite so difficult to keep shining, given her silver sequined shirt. For sure. She even has to stop every so often, she says, and puff out her cheeks, just so that she can continue the arduous task of smiling. A model's life is so hard. I don't know why people can't understand that. Finally, it's Renee's turn. Jim says that she was great, but she definitely looks older than the other girls, and almost seems too mature to be starting off in the modeling industry. Well, then, it's a good thing they didn't accentuate her long-in-the-tooth twenty years by giving her a bleach-blonde mullet and dressing her like a fifty-year-old whore. Oh, wait.