America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Becomes America’s Next Top Model (Season 8)

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The Girl Who...Wait, Seriously?

Back at home, there is Tyra Mail. Someone is getting the boot. Renee tells us that all of the girls did well on their shoots, so it's really up to the judges. She adds that she hopes that Natasha doesn't make it to the final runway show, because she walks like "a pigeon-toed duck with a piece of poop hanging out of her ass." She really is all class, isn't she? And this is actually why I think she can't win the competition. She's just too crass and looks like she's seen a little too much of life. I don't think that she looks old, per se. I actually think she just has kind of a bitter air about her. Her lack of freshness is not due entirely to her crow's feet, is what I'm saying. She seems like she has the type of wisdom that you wouldn't wish on someone so young. Natasha, for her part, says that anyone could be sent home, but she thinks that Jaslene is next to go, because she needs to show more personality in her pictures. See, that was relatively diplomatic. Jaslene tells us that when you walk into the panel you might think you did a good job, but you really never know what the judges are going to say. With a warning to expect the unexpected, she leads us into commercials.

When we return, we are at panel. Tyra is wearing Madonna's discarded huge Blonde Ambition ponytail circa 1990, along with a particularly glitzy rhinestone shower curtain. You throw a belt on anything and can call it fashion, I guess. There are prizes, there are judges. The guest judges are Sarah-Jane Clarke and Heidi Middleton, of Sass and Bide. And hey! That's pretty big. Natasha yells out, "Oh my God!" because I think she's actually the one who knows the most about fashion. The final two girls will get to walk in a Sass and Bide fashion show. Woo! Except for the fact that it will have a really stupid theme. But more about this later.

Natasha is up first for evaluation. She is wearing a high-waisted floral skirt and black t-shirt, which is okay, but as usual, her face and hair look like hot mess. Natasha has some problems styling herself. We see her best commercial take, in which she seems really excited about the fact that TruShine lip color matches 97% of all skin tones, as well as her skin tone, too. Thank God she isn't part of that forsaken three percent! I don't know how those freaks maintain the will to live, quite frankly. She ends by looking around kind of confusedly and saying, "That's it," and cracking herself up. Tyra notes that Natasha's good and can show personality when she has lines to memorize, but she stumbled a lot on the ad-libbing. Twiggy says that ad-libbing is one of the hardest things to do, and probably even more so when English is your second language. Nigel says that certain things about Natasha -- like the way she grabs her hair and laughs -- are really endearing, and often her imperfections are what make her beautiful. Natasha's photo is pretty. Twiggy says it's not her favorite photo of Natasha, but she looks beautiful, the camera loves her (I can't believe these words came from Twiggy's lips!), and she's perfect for selling lip product. Nigel wants to see more confidence in her eyes. Sass and Bide are enjoying her perfect full lips. Overall, it seems like a so-so evaluation.

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America's Next Top Model




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