America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Becomes America's Next Top Model (Season 8)

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The Girl Who...Wait, Seriously?

Jaslene is next, wearing jeans and a t-shirt, and I have to say that she looks particularly good in this ensemble. In her commercial, she still looks like she's going to eat you through the TV screen after she screams at you for a little while. But it's not terrible. Tyra thinks that adding a line in Spanish was genius, though Jaslene's delivery left something to be desired. Nigel says that Jaslene's Cover Girl ad is very pretty indeed, and he's pleased to say that her jaw doesn't look big in the shot. And I'm sorry, but that thing has been Photoshopped to hell and back. You can tell because when they zoom in on it, her chin actually looks lumpy at the bottom and her cleft is gone. I am in possession of a strong chin myself, and let me assure you that there is no photographic angle at which it magically disappears. Sass and Bide enjoy the shot as well, and think that her eyes are engaging. Tyra says that it seemed like Jaslene was a little nervous being so commercial. She's more comfortable being fierce and fabulous, and has to find a way to be sweet and beautiful, too.

And then, finally, Renee. And I don't even know how to describe the true hideousness of Renee's ensemble to you. She's wearing a long, printed skirt and a long-sleeved shirt with the shoulders cut out, like Barbra Streisand wears all the time. And you know why Barbra Streisand wears those shirts so much? Because she's friends with Donna Karan, and also 117 years old. Way to young it up, genius. The judges watch her super-enthusiastic commercial. Tyra says that it looked like Renee really believed it, and Twiggy adds that she caught the excitement very well and spoke very well. Tyra liked that Renee's excitement was humble. Nigel asks if it was bright during shooting, and notes that Renee's beautiful eyes were lost.

Renee's Cover Girl photo is really good as well. In direct opposition to Natasha's stump, Renee looks like she has the neck equivalent of a go-go-Gadget arm. It's so long. Twiggy thinks that Renee looks beautiful, healthy, and outdoorsy. Tyra says that Renee looked the most comfortable out of all the girls, and like she was having fun. Nigel then brings up his favorite refrain -- Renee photographs old. He says that it's such a sophisticated and mature look that he doesn't know how to deal with it. Let her take you to the movies and use her AARP discount, and then you won't complain so much, Nigel. Tyra says that Renee does photograph older than the other girls, and has a certain puffiness and wrinkling, which might be from the sun. She says that the fashion industry's obsession with youth is sad, but a truth, and the minute they see signs of aging they'll move on to the next girl.

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America's Next Top Model

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