America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Becomes America's Next Top Model (Season 8)

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The Girl Who...Wait, Seriously?

And then it's Jaslene's turn for a tête-à-tête with Tyra. Tyra takes us back to the Season 7 finals, when Jaslene's name wasn't called as one of the final thirteen. Jaslene says she was just wondering what she did wrong. Didn't she fail her psych test? Tyra asks what Jaslene did to prepare to come back, and Jaslene says that she worked on building her character. She was always about satisfying everyone else, and not herself. She realized that she would have to go to therapy to build herself up, love herself, and then come back, only to have all that work torn down the first time she thought, "I think I'll see what people on The Internets are saying about me." Jaslene tearfully tells Tyra that this has been a life-changing experience. This is it, she has been telling herself, and it's finally time to let go of her past. WHAT PAST? They have really told us nothing about the dark sordid histories of these two finalists, and frankly, I feel cheated. Jaslene says that she stands so strong now, and she thanks Tyra for that. With a hug, this special episode of The Typrah Winbanks Show comes to an end. Enjoy that lingering feeling of warm fuzzies, because you won't get it again until September.

Natasha and Jaslene head to a big warehouse space being set up for their final runway showdown. Here they meet Jay, and see for the first time the makeshift rickety bridge that will be their runway. It sort of circles around the perimeter of the room, and Jaslene notes that she's a little worried about walking on it. Were there only a shark-filled moat beneath, the viewing audience might be able to muster up a little more excitement. J. Alexander walks the runway just to prove that it can be done. Jay then tells the girls that the really exciting thing about the show is its theme. I hope he's not trying to say that it's better than "Ghost Brides," because I don't think it's possible for anything to out-fashion that. Okay, unless it's "Evolution." As if this show needed to give middle America another excuse to write a letter. I was hoping that the girls would have to come out as, like, protoplasm and lemurs to begin with, but in fact, they are jumping forward and beginning with "early woman." This means that they will have to begin the show as if bipedalism were a newfangled phenomenon, and then get more upright with each pass on the runway. Caridee will lead off the show, presumably to remind us not to set our expectations too high.

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America's Next Top Model

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