America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Becomes America's Next Top Model (Season 7)

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Battle Of The Blands

Dani(elle) comes out and says, "Y'all are cute." They may have given her veneers to close the tooth gap, but clearly the show was too cheap to perform the lasix surgery. Jay notes that he now has to call Dani(elle) "Dani,' because her agency changed her name. With this, the chyron changes, too. I have too say that, normally, I'm a fan of Dani(elle), but she's looking a little tired. Dani(elle) tells the girls always to remember that they're role models, and to make good decisions and choices and have fun with everything they do. Jay also tells them to remain grounded and level-headed like Dani(elle), because he doesn't need any more divas walking around. One rib-loving walrus in a weave is quite enough for him to handle, thank you very much.

The girls get primped and powdered. Caridee says that she's studied her commercial lines, but doesn't want to study too hard, because then you overthink things. And speaking of overthinking, Melrose is repeatedly practicing her lines aloud. Caridee says something to her to the effect that it's really annoying, and Melrose says, "Well, then, stop listening to me, ho." Ooooh, she just called Caridee a ho. I mean, it's hard to argue with it, but still. Caridee seems mildly offended. Eugena says that Melrose needs to be perfect, and doesn't care about anyone or anyone's feelings. All she cares about is herself and how she's going to do in the competition. And, I mean, it is a competition, so I get that. But I think what Eugena means is that Melrose doesn't have to be quite such a stank bitch to everyone. Caridee says that she's starting to overthink things herself, and that Melrose got her all freaked out. Eugena reminds us that she and Caridee want to be in the final two together. They don't want Melrose to win, because she's fake. And also a stank bitch. Dani(elle) chats it up with Caridee and Eugena, and Eugena doesn't seem wildly enthusiastic about the experience before her. Melrose says that she knows how much she wants this and how long she's wanted something like this, and that she hasn't heard anything similar from Eugena. Foreshadowing, ding ding ding.

Caridee is first to shoot the commercials. Jay tells her that Cover Girls are all about being friendly and beautiful and the girl next door and big toothy grins. Well, Caridee certainly fits the profile. Too bad she can't talk! She bumbles her lines, and interviews that the pressure of the competition is starting to get to her. Jay tells her not to overthink it, and just to be herself. He tells us that he was nervous watching Caridee, but that then she loosened up. His problem with her, though, is that once you let that bolt go, she just goes crazy all over the place, and it's hard to pull the reins. We get footage of her being crazy. And it's really not all that crazy. She finally wraps it. I have to say that Caridee's speaking voice in the commercial is not that pleasant. Jay tells her that she did a great job, and was much more herself. She interprets this last bit as a good thing.

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America's Next Top Model

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