America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Becomes America's Next Top Model (Season 1)

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Adrianne Wins!

A subtitle tells us we're on our way to a "Fitting for Baby Phat Fashion show." Which, besides the peculiarities of capitalization, is accompanied by a shot of Adrianne and Shannon meeting KLS, who tells them, "You're here to do a fitting for the show that's tonight." Thank you for engaging all of my senses with the exact same information, show. Perhaps we'll be allowed to taste a bit of actual baby fat in order to truly engage ourselves in the subject matter. No? We can't? What's that? You say I'm under arrest for eating babies? Anyway, they're fitted into their clothes for the evening, because, in case you didn't notice, they're there for a fitting for the Baby Phat fashion show. Which is tonight. The show is. The Baby Phat show.

Tonight.

The paparazzi are in full effect that night, and not taking pictures of Shannon and Adrianne as they walk into a busy building. They're brought into makeup and put into costume, Adrianne wearing some crazy bangs and a leopard top. The lights go down and out they march, Shannon wearing a very slimming, stripe-y dress. They both look like they're doing fine as they make their way into another costume, Adrianne modeling Baby Phat's new booby line, because that's all one of her outfits is. Tyra tells us, on the matter of who is winning, "I'm goin' to bed tonight, and I don't know. I really don't." It's Adrianne. Adrianne is the winner.

One last time in Milan, Shannon lies on her bed and tells us how nervous she is. Adrianne tells us that she's "busting [her] balls" trying to win. The following morning, they both express a desire to see the other do well but to win in their own right. Adrianne thinks they both deserve it, because she didn't see herself walk out there.

And one final visit to the Death Maze that is ANTM elimination. Tyra welcomes them warmly while the soundtrack holds a scary chord, and she doesn't introduce the judges again but she does name the prizes. No guest judges this week, because Tyra was reminded that there was a guy named "Beau" whom she could talk to in a pinch. We begin with Shannon, and Tyra takes us through her photographs. Janice thinks Shannon is totally capable of high fashion, and Not-Eric-Nicholson thinks she can do "sex appeal" as well. Adrianne's best shots feature snakes, and Janice thinks her foot is too big in the bathing suit shot, but thinks Adrianne's face "rocks." The nude shot is called up again, and Tyra tells her she loves her "courage," which means, "You'll be winning." Tyra asks if they have anything to say, and Shannon tells her that she's got it in her to be a supermodel. Adrianne says she's excited that she can be "a sex machine," which is such a fantastic parting shot for the judges to deliberate for the last time. Let's go see.

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America's Next Top Model

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