Laura sobs with happiness, as Kiara sobs with genuine sadness. Tyra tells Kiara that she got so far, and also Alicia Keys complimented her singing. What does that have to do with anything? Kiara hyperventilates just a bit, and says that this is very hard for her, since it's everything that she ever wanted. And no one likes to be bested by a rich girl with acres and a pond. But life goes on and moves forward, and Kiara is ready to get back up and finish school. She hopes this is the beginning and not the end, and is glad that her grandma is there to support her. Grandma tells Kiara that it's okay, and that she's beautiful, and wipes away a tear from Kiara's cheek. And really, how much of a dick is Tyra for not giving the other two finalists their scholarship bank money? She could do one good thing, one time, ever. And doesn't. Stick that in your Smize app and see what comes out.

Laura's parents come out, and her mom only tries to steal all the attention for a few seconds. Jeff Colby cries, which apparently is a first. Laura thinks it's amazing that she's representing strong, healthy girls with a butt. So congratulations, Laura! Photo shoot after photo shoot your fierce H2T moves won over designers, clients, and your fans online! You've raked in an extra $30,000 for your scholarship fund by crushing challenges! And like other notable hoss Kate Upton (yeah, who would want THAT body?), your healthy body image, fierce smize and non-stop determination make you an inspiration for girls around the world. Get out there, Laura, and show the world your flawsome curves! Fierce and love, Tyra. Also, thanks for having stopped talking about being a small-town girl about halfway through the season. Jeers and ugh, Potes.

Next time: We're not done yet -- there's a highlights show! With Victoria talking about a three way with her brother!

Potes would like to be considered in contention as America's Next Top Horror Story. Tweet your endorsement @traciepotes, or email it to potesypotes@gmail.com.