The three girls meet Jay Manuel, who welcomes them to paradise. In his ass. Parad-ass. No, no, it's just regular old paradise. Brent Poer from Cover Girl is there, and everyone knows what this means -- another Cover Girl commercial and photo shoot. I love how they couldn't even get one other corporate sponsor this year to do a commercial for. Not even Campbell's soup or Special K! They all pulled out because they could smell the fix! In any case, the winner will see the print ad she shoots today go national. The product being shilled is Cover Girl Wetslicks Fruit Spritzers. Wouldn't a fruit spritzer ideally be a drink involving white wine and, like, orange crush? What does this have to do with lip goo? In any case, Wetslicks Fruit Spritzers come in twelve colors, and each girl is going to represent one of the colors. And, Brent neglects to mention, flavors. My Bonne Bell Lip Smacker could totally beat down this so-called spritzer without even taking the cap off of its tube.

In any case, who knows better about shimmery shiny shimmer shine than Jaslene? Yes, she is there to give the girls some...tips? Chantal says that seeing Jaslene gave her the extra kick she needed -- she wants to be in Jaslene's cute yellow strappy shoes really badly. Hey, if she wants to risk a raging case of plantar warts, go for it. Jaslene sprouts advice as the girls get made up, but I can't quite seem to pay attention to her words, number one because of the deaf voice, and two because of the giant yellow fan she's waving around. What self-respecting drag queen would go to China without her giant fan? Jaslene tells the girls that they'll find out so many things about themselves by being in the competition. Like, for instance, that they're lacking a second X chromosome.

The girls memorize the script. Jenah asks with what can only be described as a sarcastic air why lemon is Chantal's favorite flavor. And, see, wouldn't you totally make fun of the stupid Cover Girl script, too? Jenah grew on me a little this episode, I'm not going to lie. Chantal, with, like, negative amounts of sarcasm, replies, "Because a spritz of citrus keeps me feeling fresh!" Wait, is there a Massengill tie-in here? Christian asks if the spritzers are fruity, and Jenah makes him put some on. He looks mildly horrified. Jenah interviews that she's very nervous, as they're shooting a real ad right now. She adds that it's terrifying, but also the most exciting thing. Almost exciting as having a nationally televised therapy session! But we'll get to panel in a few minutes.