America's Next Top Model

Episode Report Card
Potes: C- | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Easy, Breezy, Tootieful

And then, panel! Oooh, so fast, this first elimination. Tyra tells the girls that this is the second most important judging this cycle. Three will be narrowed down to two, and those two who are left standing will walk to the death in a Qi Gang haute couture fashion show. As soon as she said "walk to the death," I got kind of excited, but then I realized it was probably a metaphor and was desolate once again. Qi Gang himself is the guest judge. Tyra says that the panel wants to see how knowledgeable the girls are about their competition. Oh, knowledgeable, my ass. This is all about seeing whose back each girl will stab, and/or who is the undercover bitch of the house.

Saleisha is called up first, and Tyra asks who has the most potential to be America's Next Top Model. Saleisha is, of course, seasoned enough to say that she has the most potential, and that even though she had a rocky start to the competition, she became stronger. When asked who has the least potential, Saleisha says Jenah. Saleisha thinks that Jenah takes beautiful pictures, and lies that she loves her, but says that, in her personality and how she carries herself, Jenah can be very rude and disrespectful. Jenah looks like she wants to get rude and disrespectful on Saleisha's ass. Chantal is called, and is wearing giant overalls. She thinks she has the most potential, because she can fit twenty-seven couture dresses in one pantleg alone. And also, she was made for modeling and loves everything about this industry and would be the best role model. It is true that generically pretty girls with slightly below average intelligence desperately need someone to look up to. Chantal thinks that Jenah has the least potential, and says that she doesn't know if she'd want her little sister to look up to Jenah, because she has an "I think I'm better than people" attitude. Maybe she actually is better than people. Did Chantal ever think about that?

With that, it's Jenah's turn. Poor Jenah. I have not been a sympathizer thus far this season, but now that's all changed. Jenah thinks she has most potential to be America's Next Top Model, because even though she's different from most cover girls, she feels like girls will be able to look at her and see that they are just like her. And, I mean, first of all, if your daughter is looking to a) a model; b) a reality show contestant; or c) both as a role model, then you are really a terrible parent and should look into some classes or something. Not to get all judgey, but God. And if your daughter is actually looking up to Tyra Banks as a role model, my vote would be to let the foster care system have at it. Jenah doesn't think that she has to be super-bubbly and cute, because she is an extremely happy person, and doesn't think that her laid-back attitude can hurt her, because laid-back girls can still be cover girls. Jenah thinks that Chantal has the least potential, because out of everyone, she's the most amateur. But she was given the modeling gift straight from God! It was His plan for her to have blunt bangs and narrow hips.

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America's Next Top Model

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