Then there is Melrose. And I know I talk some shit about Melrose, but it's true that the girl can deliver. She says that it's more important for her to be in character than to get her lines down 100%. She is smiley and bubbly and personable and aware of what's happening around her. Her kiss kind of grosses me out, but not as much as the kisses of all the other girls did. Jay tells her that hers was one of the best reads of the day.

And then, there is Caridee, the opposite of the best read of the day. Jay says that her Catalan sounded like a combination of Swedish and Cantonese. She can't get any of the lines, and looks up in the air, not engaging with the camera at all. Jay says that it was painful to watch. She tries to make up for it with her kiss, which is way too porny for the situation. Porn music plays behind it, to underscore this point. She and the guy look like they are about to swallow each other's jaws. Eeesh.

Back at home, there is Tyra Mail. One of these bitches is going home, at long last. Caridee interviews that she thinks the judges are going to be rough on her, and that this is the first time she really bombed. With that sobering thought, we have commercials.

When we return, we are at Panel. Tyra speaks to the girls in Spanish. She looks like a madam from a brothel in the wild west, but weave-ier. She says that the top six who made it across the water have really big feet. Or something like that. There are prizes, there are judges. Miss J. is sporting Flock of Seagulls hair. Twiggy is very excited to be in Barcelona. Denis, the commercial director, is the guest judge.

Michelle gets called up first. She is wearing skinny pants. I didn't know that there were pants in the world that skinny. Tyra first shows the girls the finished commercial. The total dialogue as translated is as such:

Eugena: Are you strong enough to share a secret?
Melrose: I have a tattoo no one knows about.
Caridee: Sometimes I pretend to like cool music.
Amanda: I'll even ride an extra stop if there's a cute guy on the train.
Melrose: But what's my real secret?
Eugena: The only reason I got serious with this guy is because his baby pictures were cute and I wanted to see what our kids would look like. [Kiss kiss kiss.]
Caridee: [Porny kiss kiss kiss.]
Eugena: Secret. Strong enough for a woman.
Jaeda: [Holds up deodorant.]