Back on the well-tended shores of Lake Homo, the girls return to Stephen's back porch to find Jay "I'll Give You Fish, I'll Give You Candy, I'll Give You Everything I Have In My Hand, Give Me, Give Back My" Manuel there to tell them about their photo shoots: two teams, with April and Mercedes on one team, and Yoanna and Shandi on the other. "This is no piece of cake, girls," he says, tangentially chastising Yoanna's midriff. "It's difficult, because you can't outshine the other...we're going to do very long, Italian, straight weaves." Hair montage. They all are given exactly the same hair that they had before they received their makeovers. Anyway. And, apparently, the hair is the only accessory, and the photo shoot is nude. April is excited about it, noting, "[Mercedes and I] might not be as high-fashion as [Shandi and Yoanna], but when I think of the boys back home, who they'd rather see naked on top of each other, I have a feeling it might be us." Totally the point. Which is neither here nor there. Because Jay has to call his wife.

"Yoanna is definitely paying attention," Jay tells us, impressed that she was able to hide certain parts of herself behind Shandi's finger. Oh, no, I'm sorry. That's actually all of Shandi. Jay, meanwhile, seems unimpressed that Shandi doesn't seem to be paying attention. Meanwhile, Mercedes and April pose in a door frame, April "trying to take over my job," according to poor, put-upon Jay, as he notes that she's trying to art-direct her own shoot. Jay says that Mercedes seemed lost and didn't like how April was bossing her around. Mercedes looks like a deer trapped in her own headlights, and celebrates when the thing is over, while April can't wipe the control-freak sneer off of her face. The one saving grace is that it will be much, much easier for her to pack if none of her belongings are on her back at the exact moment the judges decide it's time for her to go.

A van (or is it called a "vanspa"?) carries the girls to an outdoor café, and I suddenly can't wait to leave Milan. When they arrive there, they meet a waiting Tyra "Is That 'Shake Ya Body' On Your MP3 Playa, Or Are You Just Happy To See Me" Banks, who offers hugs and pretends she speaks Italian. I think this night is supposed to be a "girls night out" kind of thing, because we cut around to them being really dishy, as introduced by Yoanna asking, "What did we not talk about that evening?" Arctic drilling. Well, you didn't. Stop looking at me like that.