Janice frets about Yoanna's "rolls of skin," but says that in her nude shot, she doesn't even see it. ["No waistband = no back fat. Ladies, take a note." -- Wing Chun] Tyra says that it's because she's a "good model," so she knows how to position herself correctly and make the best of her assets. Shandi's legs look great, according to Janice, and Nigel reiterates that she's "Helmut Newton-esque." Jesus. Get off it. Some ladies are naked without being "Helmut Newton-esque." And dammit, Janice, where are you for the follow-up quip: "Better than Yoanna, who's a bit more Fig Newton-esque." But she didn't say that. And I haven't been hired for the panel yet why, exactly?
April thinks too much. But Stephen's never been here before, so he came to that conclusion completely on his own. But he does make the fantastic observation, "She's trying to depict a model how she's seen it in a movie." Nigel thinks she's gone "from strength to strength," but Tyra accuses him, "You just like that ass." And Mercedes, according to Stephen, has too-short legs. Nigel thinks that Mercedes was great in the commercial and the music video, but that "the fashion industry's not gonna get it." Which causes Janice to hear a non-contextual, "You're crazy, Nigel." Which I will start saying indiscriminately to everyone I know.
Four girls. Three pictures. You see the problem here? I sure don't. Yoanna is first up -- "the epitome of Italian sexiness" -- but she still needs to work on that sexiness in person. Shandi is next. She gives hope "to young girls who are hiding behind glasses." But they want to know if she really wants it. Mercedes and April please step forward. Awww, they're holding hands. Tyra tells Mercedes that she's gotten very high-fashion, but that they're still not sure. April poses better than all the other girls, but, y'know, she's too mechanical. Which is why she's off on a big mechanical plane, back to Non-Model-Ville. Tears and hugs abound, and April tells us in a teary confessional, "I don't understand. I always win everything." Way to ingratiate yourself. "I'm gonna be a top model anyway," she tells us petulantly. "It's my calling." No disassemble, Stephanie.