America's Next Top Model
America's Next Top Model

Episode Report Card
Potes: B+ | 172 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Concrete and Barbed Wire

And then the girls go to jail. Jail! A very serious-looking corrections officer leads them off of their bus, and I'm sure is silently stewing about the fact that she doesn't have time for this shit. Kiara notes a keen feeling of dread, and tells us that this is her worst nightmare. As the girls are locked in a cell, Johnny approaches. He's very serious, and sends the girls through the booking process. Wait, you have to wipe off your makeup if you're arrested? How do Paris and Lindsay and the others remain so glamorous for their mug shots? The ladies don orange jumpsuits as Johnny voices over that each year, hundreds of thousands of college students are arrested for serious crimes. Hundreds of thousands? Really? These crimes include drunk driving, assault, drugs, and shoplifting. Despite what you're about to see in the impending photo shoot, Johnny sternly tells us that going to prison is NOT glamorous.

As the girls line up in their jumpsuits, cuffed to one another, Johnny scares them straight by saying that this whole experience has been to help them get into character for their photo shoot. They'll be shooting '50s retro bad girl fashion mug shots, which actually makes little ole' law abiding ME want to go to jail. The photographer for the day is Mark "The Cobra Snake" Hunter, who I think is actually Andy Kaufman. Brittany tells us that "The Cobra Snake" is kind of famous, which I guess is how he can afford that blue lame shirt and get away with being so hairy.

Hair and makeup commences, and the styling is very cool. But this is no comfort to Kiara, who definitively does not want to be inside a prison right now. As it turns out, Kiara was arrested for shoplifting when she was 18, and has never told anyone about it. Except, I'm guessing, the producers of this show prior to being cast. Kiara cries as she talks about being handcuffed and put in a police car after walking out of a store with a bracelet. She went through the whole booking process, and says that it was the all-time low of her life. See, stealing is bad, especially if you get caught.

America's Next Top Model

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