Maria is next, and Rob says that her photo is not really modeling. Maria, who apparently was NOT smart enough to watch even one episode of this show in the past, starts complaining about how there were shots in which she moved her neck more, adding that she doesn't think this is her best picture. Girrrrrrrrrrrl, I wouldn't have done that. Kelly looks at her and says in a very schoolmarm voice, "This is your best shot." Tyra recommends that Maria lift her chin to increase her "model-ness." You know it takes every bit of restraint that Maria has not to say, "Model-ness isn't even a word." Bryanboy says that Maria barely made an impact online, before reading a quote from someone named Jacob G., who said that Maria has a $10,000 shopping spree bag under her eyes. Ouch. I love how Tyra has taken away even the possibility of her contestants being emotionally kind to themselves and not reading comments on the Internet. It's like, "Oh, we've found someone to read the meanest ones to you! In real time!" Kelly gives Maria a 5, and tells her to take modeling a lot more seriously if she makes it to next week. Rob and Tyra both give her a 6.
Net we have Leila, whose photo the judges adore. I think most of the credit honestly goes to her big lips and gap teeth, but in this case I guess it's enough. Bryanboy then plays a fan video, in which a big hairy dude says that Leila is the only one who has a contemporary fashion look, as his lady friend eats a popsicle. Just when you thought it was impossible for this show to make you even sadder about the world! Leila gets straight 10s from the judges, which seems a little over the top.
Darian is next, and she's actually smizing too much for a supposedly dead model head. Bryanboy tells her that she had one of the lowest social media scores, and that people hate her braids. That is cold, people. Darian keeps it together as she says that hopefully she'll soon get to have a makeover. She gets 5s from Kelly and Rob, and a 6 from Tyra.
Next up is Brittany. Kelly loves her hair, eyes, and collarbones, but Rob thinks that she has too much attitude. Tyra likes but doesn't love it. And then Bryanboy gleefully announces that people online are really mean towards Brittany. Someone named Michelle wrote that Brittany seems to be full of it, and there's a difference between confidence and arrogance. I think in future recaps I will not actually recount the fan quotes and videos. If you want a taste of public opinion, go to the forums! Poor Brittany gets very tearful and says that she considers herself a humble person. Tyra tells her that the completely unfounded perceptions of anonymous people on the Internet are a reality. As Brittany continues to cry, Tyra tells her that it's okay to say it hurts, and adds that she gets a lot of hate stuff all the time. Some days she laughs about it, and some days she'll acknowledge that it doesn't feel so great. Most days she is delusional enough to believe it makes her the most talked-about person in the WORLD and Naomi Campbell can SUCK IT. Kelly tells Brittany that she has to stand strong and keep moving forward, and it's unfortunately just part of the gig. Kelly gives Brittany a 9, while Rob gives her a 6 and Tyra gives her a 7.













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