America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Cries Home

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As If Your Soul is Gone

Darian is next, and she's actually smizing too much for a supposedly dead model head. Bryanboy tells her that she had one of the lowest social media scores, and that people hate her braids. That is cold, people. Darian keeps it together as she says that hopefully she'll soon get to have a makeover. She gets 5s from Kelly and Rob, and a 6 from Tyra.

Next up is Brittany. Kelly loves her hair, eyes, and collarbones, but Rob thinks that she has too much attitude. Tyra likes but doesn't love it. And then Bryanboy gleefully announces that people online are really mean towards Brittany. Someone named Michelle wrote that Brittany seems to be full of it, and there's a difference between confidence and arrogance. I think in future recaps I will not actually recount the fan quotes and videos. If you want a taste of public opinion, go to the forums! Poor Brittany gets very tearful and says that she considers herself a humble person. Tyra tells her that the completely unfounded perceptions of anonymous people on the Internet are a reality. As Brittany continues to cry, Tyra tells her that it's okay to say it hurts, and adds that she gets a lot of hate stuff all the time. Some days she laughs about it, and some days she'll acknowledge that it doesn't feel so great. Most days she is delusional enough to believe it makes her the most talked-about person in the WORLD and Naomi Campbell can SUCK IT. Kelly tells Brittany that she has to stand strong and keep moving forward, and it's unfortunately just part of the gig. Kelly gives Brittany a 9, while Rob gives her a 6 and Tyra gives her a 7.

Kristin is next, and Rob and Kelly give her the whole "you're a pretty girl, but are you a model?" speech. But Bryanboy says that Kristin almost broke the Internet, because she's such a hit with the public. Basically, there are a lot of guys out there who want to bone her. Despite the earlier criticism, Kristin gets relatively high marks -- a 9 from Kelly, an 8 from Tyra, and a 7 from Rob. Then we have Allyssa. Kelly says that her photo is more electroshock therapy than taxidermy, which makes Rob crack up. Tyra, however, likes her dead intensity. Kelly gives the photo a 5, and Rob gives it a 6, but outlier Tyra gives it a 9.

Oh YAY and then it's time for Victoria! Her whole thing is SO Bride of Frankenstein. When it pops up on the screen, Rob just starts laughing and laughing. He tries to recover while telling her that his giggling is not a bad thing. Except it is. The photo is not only terrible, but also a little scary. Kelly says that it's too intense and growly, but viewer Heather likes Victoria's strong personality. Tyra sees high fashion, weird, uncomfortable, and pissed-off angry fierce. While Kelly gives Victoria a 5 and Rob gives her a 6, Tyra gives her an 8. This is because she knows what makes for good, truly ridiculous TV.

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America's Next Top Model

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