Tyra mail! "Did you ever have a dream that you were walking around in only your underwear?" Yes, in fact, I did! Recurrently, when I was a child, I dreamed that I walked to my elementary school in my underwear, but only realized it once I got there, and then it was already too late. This may explain why I now shower fully clothed. The girls discuss what the challenge may be, and use the word "panties" many times successively. Ew. "Panties" is one of my most reviled words, coming in second only to "moist." Put those two together and, well, I think you can see where I'm going with this one. Eva says she's going to wear her "lucky lady drawers." Aww. I'm sure Eva gets lucky with the ladies no matter what drawers she has on. Oh, Ann, stop getting so jealous -- you know those drawers are yours.
The girls pull up to La Perla. Amanda interviews that everybody knows La Perla is "it" when it comes to lingerie. Oh, shut up, you. As they enter the store they are greeted by Simon Doonan, recurring guest star and creative director for Barney's, who is wearing Olsen-twins sized sunglasses. Or maybe they only appear to be so big because he is such a tiny, tiny man. He tells the girls that today's challenge is all about posing. They are going to be dressed in lingerie and put in La Perla's window for all of New York to see! He tells them that they must look alluring and interesting, but not cheap and slutty. At this, Cassie is visibly perturbed. The girls are going to be divided into three groups, each of which has to pose for ten minutes. Now, if they would only throw in, say, a few thousand fire ants, we'd have a real competition. The winner will get $5,000 worth of lingerie. An assistant outfits the girls, and asks for their sizes. Kelle is a 34D and...yikes! At least she has a small body and a big rack to draw attention away from the snout. Eva says she doesn't know what size she is, because she never wears a bra. I'll tell you, the Eva coming-out probably won't be the focus of an episode this season...but a recapper can hope, can't she? Toccara then says that she's a 38DDD. A gong sounds. That was kind of rude, editors. La Perla doesn't have Toccara's size in stock. Couldn't someone have called ahead with the girls' measurements? Toccara is forced to wear a short robe, but she makes do with what she's given. Yaya practices some silly-looking poses, and demonstrates a small speech impediment that is a bit Elmer Fudd-esque in nature. She says that she is "wemembewing" the poses that Janice gave them. Kelle interviews that she is feeling pretty good after all of her practice in the mirror.