America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Cries When She Looks In The Mirror

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Yaya, Nicole, and Kelle are in the first posing group. Yaya interviews that people on the street stopped to look at them, which I think would be kind of a given in this situation. Tiny little Simon is standing in front of the display with a clipboard and yelling things at them. Kelle says that Nicole and Yaya are doing weird poses, and that they are a bit too "pin-up girl" and "mighty Aphrodite" for a high-end lingerie line. Simon says that Kelle seems very natural and effortless. He clearly missed the memo about the mandatory Kelle hate, which is why Tyra didn't invite him to be the guest judge this week. Next are Toccara, Cassie, and Norelle. Toccara is stiff, and Cassie looks like...well, a stripper. Norelle is cute and winning. Finally, we have Amanda, Eva, Ann, and Jennipher. Simon says that Ann is naturally strong and elegant and has a lot of potential. He then says, "Jennipher is a little dull. Slash very dull." It's no "I didn't say you were a hooker. I said you had hooker style," but it will have to do.

The girls are brought back together for the results. Simon tells Amanda that lingerie is not her forte -- ha! He says that Yaya was too athletic and body builder-ish, Norelle was the most sweet, Kelle was very creative and natural, Cassie was "too bada-bing," Nicole worked the pin-up angle, Toccara didn't display her natural charm (e.g. boobies, but you can't really blame her for that), Ann was not creative but has a natural elegance, Eva is a show-off, which is good, and that Jennipher looks like she took a Quaalude. Jennipher interviews that she didn't feel well that day, which is why she wasn't Miss Personality. And if you look closely, you can see one little snaggletooth begin to make its way into the world. Rest assured that we'll be seeing much more of it later.

Kelle wins the competition. She says that she hopes this win will give the judges reassurance that she belongs there. Well, I guess it's good to have hope, however misguided and foolish it may be. Kelle has to pick two others to share in her wealth. She chooses Amanda to get $1,500 worth of lingerie, and Toccara to get $500. Shut up, Amanda. Cassie interviews that Kelle's win does not give her an edge, because while she is beautiful in person, she hasn't been able to pull off a good photograph.

More Tyra Mail! "The modeling world is a catty dog-eat-dog biz. Sometimes you've just gotta roll with the punches." Ann says that she needs a good photo, or she might be eliminated. The girls speculate that the photo shoot will involve animals. Kelle tells Toccara, "I think that we are going to be dog boxing. We're going to have to fight each other. Fight some bitches." Toccara says, "I'll knock a bitch out." Hee! These two are my favorite unlikely friends. On the phone with her boyfriend, Jennipher snots that she has to give 100% more, and that nobody sees that she wants to win. Her boyfriend says, "Show 'em." Jennipher sighs and throws her head down dramatically. She really is an insufferable nit.

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America's Next Top Model

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