America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Deals With A Pervert

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Pick Up The Francophone

The lovely Emma, mouthpiece and facepiece of the horrible Marilyn Gauthier, says to Robin, "Somebody told me that you had a little secret method...would you like to tell the judges what you did?" Robin cops to the fact that she basically went to a Sherpa For Hire booth and picked up a friend to cart her around for the day, and Marilyn tsk-tsks, "I would never advise a new, young model to do what you did today." Even in France -- where everyone gets to be five years younger and blame it on the time difference -- Robin will never be a "new, young model." She can take care of herself. She can drive a car. She can rent a car. Emma tells Robin that the clients said she could only work on special shoots, and Robin's at the ready with a plus-size retort, "I guess they're just gonna have to create some more special shoots, then." Janice finds Robin's photo "angry," and Robin snips, "Yeah, I guess we didn't have a good time." Tyra thanks Robin and dismisses her, and the look on Janice's face makes her look like she's about to thank Robin right out of France with her three-inch stiletto bondage heels. No, I know she sits behind a table whenever we see her. No, I don't know for sure she's got them. But you just kind of know when you know, right?

"I don't know what she's doing in Paris," Janice says, seemingly the second Robin is out of the room. Marilyn says that there is no plus-size market in France. Tyra finally finds an in to complain about something else on Robin besides her general, overall rump-ishness, worrying about the man who Robin subcontracted to help her out. Adrianne most people want out, Shannon isn't looking after her extensions, and Elyse looks like a little boy.

"There are five of you standing before me, but I only have four pictures in my hand," Tyra says, and at least one girl is all quietly thinking, "So that means that two of us are getting eliminated this week?" But you know who won't be getting eliminated? Elyse. Because she "took Paris by storm." Go, unironic weather metaphors! She's The Top Model After Tomorrow. You know who else isn't going anywhere? Shannon. But she needs to look different than she does, somehow. Robin is also sticking around, but Tyra cautions her, "Use this." Tyra points at her head. I think she intends to mean, "Use your brains," but I think we all know it means, "I am the only damn reason you're still here." Would Kesse and Adrianne please step forward? They will. Kesse is beautiful and photographs well, but she isn't exactly setting the world on fire. Adrianne, meanwhile, has to stop hiding behind her hair. That's the whole complaint? No wonder Kesse gets the boot. Tyra cries as she hands the photo to Adrianne, and a rare Tyra confessional finds her telling us that all of the judges cried that night about Kesse's outster. The girls tear up as the judges ready an upcoming speech for Adrianne in future weeks that includes the incredulous shrugging of shoulders and the repeated use of the words "waterproof mascara.

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America's Next Top Model

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