America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Didn't Hug Goodbye

Episode Report Card
Potes: B- | Grade It Now!
Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

At home, Yaya (who in approximately six seconds will revert to being "fucking Yaya") puts on a face mask. Not working, honey. She confessionalizes that it was a very good day, and that she thinks she did well, except for the being-late part. Um, that's kind of a big part, dumb-ass. She says, "But I did the girls a favor because my non-presence there gave someone else a chance to win." First off, Ivy League, it's called "absence." And second...fucking Yaya. I wish that she had been there on time just so she Eva could have beat her ass squarely, and with no doubts of other possible outcomes.

The girls return home, and Amanda tells Yaya that Eva won. Amanda interviews that Yaya says it isn't a big deal, but is most likely worried that her disqualification will be brought up in panel. Yaya asks whether the designers said anything about her. Amanda says with a tone of voice that implies a shoulder shrug, "No." Hee! Oh, Amanda, is kind of my new friend.

Eva and Ann arise at 6:30 AM to meet the mystery guest. They are dropped off at a very elite part of town and are introduced to famed jewelry designer Toyohiko Mikimoto. Eva interviews that she knew of Mikimoto and Ann didn't, but that, "[Ann] already made a point of [saying that] if she didn't know who a person was, she was still gonna act like she knew him. Very good, Banana, very good." Remember this for later. Eva interviews in a really cute, exited way that she figured they were going to get some jewelry. And what I really hate Ann for (besides being a general ass and tarnishing the already dubious reputation of the sapphically-inclined) is making me kind of dislike Eva, just by association. I used to enjoy her much more, but now every time she's on screen I'm just like, "Too much drama."

Eva and Ann get to try on some lovely pearl necklaces. And just take a minute here and get all the pearl necklace jokes out of your system. Mr. Mikimoto then gives them each a lovely and most likely quite valuable pearl necklace. Ann says that the necklace will last the rest of her life and remind her of the Top Model experience, and so she is grateful to Eva. She says, "We're still Ann and Eva even though we've had some...marriage problems." Yeah, I know. Ann and Eva leave the Mikimoto store and celebrate the fact that their prize is worth more than all of Yaya's put together.

Back at home, Ann shows off her prize to Amanda and Yaya. Amanda totally thinks that they have received jewelry from the famed designer Mickey Moto. Amanda asks Yaya if she's jealous. Yaya puts on mascara and says, "That they got pearls? No," in a way that indicates that she is totally, thoroughly, and endlessly jealous.

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America's Next Top Model




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