America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Didn’t Hug Goodbye

Episode Report Card
admin: B- | Grade It Now!
Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

Tyra Mail! "For one of you, your future as a top model is drawing closer. Get ready to handle life in the fast lane." The girls puzzle over what this means. The Ivy League-educated Yaya guesses that they will be on a street, while Ann says that maybe it's a runway. Ann interviews that the response to her pictures has been more negative than positive, but that she's always first on the runway. Yeah, except for every time that they've done runway stuff this season and Eva won. Shut up, Ann.

The girls drive to Harajuku, where crazy cool outfits are in action on the streets. They emerge from an elevator and meet The Dowager Jay, who looks uglier than ever. He says that he has designed the upcoming shoot around a very popular Japanese street style. Ann fingers his open shirt, and he tells her not to touch. As he sends the girls to makeup, he says to Ann, "You better be lucky you still in this competition. You barely got a photograph [last week]." Oooh, burn. Ann interviews that she knows he didn't have a mean intent (which I might disagree with), but that was the last thing she needed to hear before a photo shoot. Commercials.

For the fourth week in a row, Eva has been voted Cover Girl of the Week. If you discount the 85% of the masses who still vote for Toccara, that is.

Hair and makeup. Hey, there's Danilo! Hi, buddy. Ann voices over that she feels like everyone thinks she takes awful pictures. Well, Ann the Man, according to your own logic, that's not mean at all, because it's factual. She says that when she first got to the shoot, Jay said to her offhandedly, "You're lucky you got a picture last week," which Ann took to mean that she doesn't deserve to be there. Which is exactly what he meant, and also true. She says that she was hurt by it. Oh, sensitive Ann, who hasn't previously and certainly will not in this episode exhibit any hurtful behavior towards others. Jerk.

The girls continue the trend of having crazy-ass hair and makeup to hide their outwardly un-model-like appearances. Eva asks Mathu the makeup artist whether the shoot will take place there. No one will answer. Ann says that if it's in the fast lane, it'll be on the street. Mathu says that it could be in a supermarket. And I would totally give this episode an A+ if it were a crossover with Supermarket Sweep. Oh, come on, like you wouldn't love to see Yaya chuck five thirty-pound hams into a grocery cart. The girls walk outside and see a Winnebago. Ann says, "Road Rules," and it suddenly occurs to me that if there was ever a reality show made for Ann, it is Road Rules. And I think we can all predict the trajectory of the Ann/Coral relationship on the Challenge. Danilo tells them that the RV is for hair and makeup, which obviously means that they're going somewhere.

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America's Next Top Model




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