America's Next Top Model
America's Next Top Model

Episode Report Card
Potes: A- | 769 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
The Girl Whom Everyone Suddenly Hates

Jaslene is next. She says that she once was a young girl who was misled into agony, pain, and suffering. Her only way out was through true love, and her true love was her dream. Okay, what? She says she fought through so many obstacles to get to her dream, but now, she stands before us and is really, really happy. And all she does is live, love, and laugh. And dance like no one's watching. I mean, what is this crap? Jaslene's story sucks. When she's finished everyone just sits there in silence until one girl starts halfheartedly clapping. The others join in, and then Jaslene joins Renee in sitting on a nearby tree branch.

And then, there is Dionne. She readies herself, and looks kind of mean, as is her custom. She interviews, "I don't want to do no damn dance! First of all, how the hay-ell do you think I can dance while telling a story? Tell what story? What story do you wanna hear?" Oooh, oooh! I want to hear the story of Weavey-locks and the Three Queers! Please, Grandma Dionne, tell it again! Dionne says that her boyfriend tries to get her to dance for him all the time, and she just does not do it. Well, that's probably some kinky thing, though. Dionne tells us with a healthy heaping of attitude that she does not want to dance, period. However, I think if she digs way down in her heart, she'll find that she's yearning, burning for someone to tell her that life ain't passing her by. But hey, Dionne? I'm trying to tell you, it will if you don't even try. Commercials.

When we return, Dionne still doesn't want to dance. She says that she doesn't think what happened to her in the past was relevant. Ah, so maybe this is more about the revealing of past happenings than about dancing? God, now I feel like Tyra. Anyway, Dionne says she's going to make her dance, like, 25 seconds long. But then her story is pretty good! She says that when she was six, her mom was shot and paralyzed, and has been for fifteen years. She has a line on her leg that represents the line she walked, and whether she should walk right or left. Okay, that part I don't quite get. Dionne has a series of dots on her legs, representing each of her sisters and their kids, including her baby sister who she loves most, because she encouraged Dionne to pursue her dream of modeling. There is a yellow dot on Dionne's stomach, which represents her life. She's trying to make it better for herself and for the pink dot within that, which represents her daughter, through a career in modeling. The audience claps. I should mention that no one so far has really danced, per se. They're more or less just standing there and moving their arms around. But, hey, whatever works.

America's Next Top Model

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP