America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Does Not Want To Dance

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Potes: B+ | Grade It Now!
The Girl Whom Everyone Suddenly Hates

And then, there is Dionne. She readies herself, and looks kind of mean, as is her custom. She interviews, "I don't want to do no damn dance! First of all, how the hay-ell do you think I can dance while telling a story? Tell what story? What story do you wanna hear?" Oooh, oooh! I want to hear the story of Weavey-locks and the Three Queers! Please, Grandma Dionne, tell it again! Dionne says that her boyfriend tries to get her to dance for him all the time, and she just does not do it. Well, that's probably some kinky thing, though. Dionne tells us with a healthy heaping of attitude that she does not want to dance, period. However, I think if she digs way down in her heart, she'll find that she's yearning, burning for someone to tell her that life ain't passing her by. But hey, Dionne? I'm trying to tell you, it will if you don't even try. Commercials.

When we return, Dionne still doesn't want to dance. She says that she doesn't think what happened to her in the past was relevant. Ah, so maybe this is more about the revealing of past happenings than about dancing? God, now I feel like Tyra. Anyway, Dionne says she's going to make her dance, like, 25 seconds long. But then her story is pretty good! She says that when she was six, her mom was shot and paralyzed, and has been for fifteen years. She has a line on her leg that represents the line she walked, and whether she should walk right or left. Okay, that part I don't quite get. Dionne has a series of dots on her legs, representing each of her sisters and their kids, including her baby sister who she loves most, because she encouraged Dionne to pursue her dream of modeling. There is a yellow dot on Dionne's stomach, which represents her life. She's trying to make it better for herself and for the pink dot within that, which represents her daughter, through a career in modeling. The audience claps. I should mention that no one so far has really danced, per se. They're more or less just standing there and moving their arms around. But, hey, whatever works.

And then, there is Natasha. She comes out with a couple of branches and waves them around. She says softly, "When I used to be a child, I was very weak." She tells us that she is speaking quietly because she wants everyone to pay close attention to what she's doing. She says that when you speak quietly, people are like, "Huh?" People are like, "Huh?" no matter what the volume of Natasha's speech, quite frankly. Dionne interviews, "I see her lips moving, but I don't hear a thing...What the hay-ell is she saying?" Captions tell us that it's something about being weak and having big dreams. Oh, and going to the forest and listening to the trees. "And then trees tell me I am most beautiful girl in world, and can heal others through power of my face alone, and must look for the Tyra to make all happen." Renee tells us that she had no idea what Natasha was saying, and adds that she's a sweet girl but is a few fries short of a Happy Meal. Natasha's response? "Oh, am so happy, it's true! And am 5'9", not too short. Perfect size for model." Natasha tells us that her dance was very good, because she used tree branches and went barefoot, like the Aboriginal girls who went before her. O...kay.

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America's Next Top Model




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