Also? Sometimes? On this show? They model and stuff. But that was a long, long time ago. We're kicking to a house meeting that happened at some point in this season, but there's no telling when that was because right now it's Ebony O'Clock everywhere in New York City. "So," she kicks it off, cognizant for the first time ever that not all words needs to be elided together in one crazy megasentence that usually amounts to nothing more than "Please pass the milk, please." Anyway, here's what else she says: "I wanted to know if it was okay for my girlfriend to come over for a few hours." Uh. Oh. Hear that thunder? It's just God bowling. And using the head of a lesbian as his ball. Robin makes straight (very, very, heterosexually straight) for the nearest confessional, where she tells us, "Ebony's a lesbian. And I find this offensive. But I cannot pass judgment on her. I just know that some people that proclaim that, y'know, they love the Lord and are Christians, y'know, are not always, y'know, cut the right way." I would parse all of the ways in which that sentence is in itself an abomination to the lord ("I cannot pass judgment," but I find her "offensive"), but we're all on the same side here already, right? Shannon asks where they'll "be at" -- and let the record show that I find shitty grammar an abomination to the Lord -- and when Ebony responds "my bedroom," Shannon literally closes her eyes in unconcealed disgust. In her own confessional, Shannon shares with us that homosexuality is "wrong," and that she finds it "an abomination to the Lord." ["She...does know that her beloved J. Alexander is gay, right?" -- Wing Chun] Adrianne, I have to say, hits the three-pointer from mid-court in a game of Obviousball, but y'know what? No one else was going to say it, so we have to give her some props right here: "They're so innocent...what are you gonna see in this industry? Are you gonna sit there and preach to these people and tell them they're going to burn in the fiery pits of Hell because they have a gay lover?" Awesome. Now let's just work on the expression "gay lover," which sounds like the name of a Gilbert & Sullivan opera about something very, very different. But really, at the end of the day, it's Robin who's the accepting one: "I can't stop her from having someone over. Everybody has to deal with their own sins." She's just on TV. She's just on TV. She can't hurt me from the TV. She's just on TV.
Her name is Ka? Ebony's lady friend, who has dreads and is shorter than Ebony and who will burn in Hel, enters the penthouse. The other girls hide her as a hilarious joke, and when she reveals herself, Ebony and Ka hug chastely and banter about Ebony's-treme baldness. But, Ka? Well, her name is "Ka." I want to say one-thousand things about this, but they've all been said. By me. And my friend Tracie. Over IM, during the episode. Here's pretty much how it went: