Dan: "Ebony's a lesbian, and I found this offensive."
Tracie: Oh, Robin. She just doesn't like it when people sin.
Dan: The girlfriend's name is "Ka"?
Tracie: Yes. Yes, it is.
Dan: THAT is the sin, right there.
Tracie: I believe her last name is "Pow."
Dan: I think it's "Boom."
Dan: We've made her full name into the sound of something exploding on screen in a Batman cartoon.
Tracie: Well then, maybe it's "Flooey."
Dan: Don't you mean "Blooey"?
Tracie: Maybe "Blooey."
Dan: No. You know what it totally is?
Tracie: Madonna would accept her instantly.
Dan: Then let us make her first name "Esther."
Tracie: Esther Bahlah doesn't work at all.
Dan: Good point.
Tracie: This is nowhere near as funny as Girls' Bike Club.
Dan: Yeah. Welcome to my life.
Robin and Shannon don't even come out (heh) to introduce themselves. Adrianne has a lot of gay friends. Elyse tells us how much she liked Ka because, if anything, hyper-educated atheists will change Robin's mind.
Tyra Mail! Tyra Mail! They're to meet the following morning at 8 AM without makeup on. "Because of the acting lessons that we took," Elyse exposits, "I knew there was gonna be some kind of acting involved." Who are you, Perry Mason? Amazing! We're a quick cut later at a locale called Pier 59 Studios. They meet Tyra in a large studio space, and we learn that they'll be shooting a commercial today. For a commercial shoot, there is a "constant motion" that makes things much harder than doing a standard photo shoot. They meet their director, Loren Haynes, and he gets them going by telling them that the shoot will be for contact lenses. They're given copy and choreography, and they rehearse through the lines "color is power" and "color is emotion" until the fact that they don't make any sense becomes completely blurred. Adrianne marches up to a booby-padded Elyse and asks, "Are those silicone?" and then proceeds to poke her and poke her and poke her for, like, a full minute. One might say Adrianne was "pokin' atcha, pokin' atcha." Ah. Never mind. Ask Ebony what it means.
Kesse walks through her routine, and Loren agrees that she killed. Elyse kicks ass and then undercuts her own performance by making fun of the whole shoot in a confessional. Shannon cannot nail the line "Fresh Look is color for your eyes," Giselle knows that she kicked ass, and Adrianne gets roundly reamed for her pronunciation of "passion." Loren complains to us that Adrianne couldn't "lose the homeboy attitude." Robin has cleaned up the diva routine, and Loren calls her "virtually a pro." Ebony tells us that she's not going to have any trouble at all because she's been in retail since she was nineteen. And it's not like I think being a supermodel is the hardest thing in the world, but it certainly does seem to be more of a multimedia enterprise than "would you like to try a different size in the classic fit, ma'am?" ["But when would she have time to do that amid being a standup comic and a makeup artist?" -- Wing Chun] Yeah, she blows it big. Then all of the women repeat the words "Fresh Look, beautiful eyes." Anyone hungry? I was just thinking of running out for a bag of Rollitos.