America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Everyone Thinks Is Killing Herself

Episode Report Card
Djb: B | Grade It Now!
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Anorexia, Anorexia/Intimate, Obstinate/Anorexia

Tyra Mail! Tyra Mail! "Tomorrow, five of you will go on to become America's Next Top Model. One of you will be eliminated." Giselle shares with the table that she is going to be eliminated the following day, which she is. And why? Because she does not have any love. This is made clear by Elyse's long, multi-shot goodbye with Marty (that's his name. Who knew?) and Adrianne's tearful hugs with her mom and proclamations of, "I'm gonna win." She bids her mother farewell, telling her, "I'll call you after I'm not eliminated." After she swipes Robin's calling card.

Welcome, ladies! Into the elimination room the remaining six walk. The prizes are restated and the judges introduced, Steve Santagati somehow making it out of his roundtable press at the, like, Rules of Attraction junket in time to act as this week's guest judge.

The first girl up for this week's individual evaluation is Robin. Steve Santagati asks her "two tough questions." The first is, "Why do you think you should win this competition?" She thinks she's got it nailed, answering, "Not for the obvious reasons, which is [sic, and none too surprising!] fame and fortune," but instead to use it as "a platform to be an influence on someone's life." She doesn't need money to judge for a pedestal! Just like Jesus! Elyse feels that she "sort of breaks stereotypes" as both a nerdy girl who is pretty and a pretty girl who is smart. Adrianne thinks she would put "a little spice in the industry," Shannon feels that she wouldn't be "easily persuaded," and Giselle is "building confidence. Yes, I am." But the best response is saved for last, when Kesse goes with the pity vote, telling them she should win because, and I quote, "I deserve to be happy at least once in my life." Oy. Her elimination ought to be a real hoot.

And, the second question: "Who should we eliminate today?" Robin responds, "Whatever person god puts on your heart to eliminate," and I'm actually just exercising my own anti-Robin disobedience at this point by intentionally not capitalizing the name of her deity, so that when it's typed out, it could be referring to the martyr who died for her sins or it could be referring to Jeff, the god of biscuits. Robin? You'll never know. Elyse goes with her Constanza-esque training of saying exactly the opposite of what you're told to say, responding that Robin should get the boot because her religion is inhibiting her. "Her," I think, meaning Elyse. Adrianne agrees that Shannon and Robin are going to come up against some problems in this industry because of their faith. And Shannon beats the skinny dead horse that is Elyse's "unhealthy eating habits." Kesse concurs with Shannon, and Giselle doesn't want to give an answer. Because you know what word five bitchy judges will immediately equate with the concept of confidence? "Pass."

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America's Next Top Model

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