America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Everyone Thinks Is Killing Herself

Episode Report Card
Djb: B | Grade It Now!
Anorexia, Anorexia/Intimate, Obstinate/Anorexia

Robin takes a look at her movement shoot shot, worrying about one Clinton Portis, "He was lustin'!" Elyse really likes her picture, and Janice says that she "loves" it. The guy who isn't Eric Nicholson tells Elyse she looks like a pro, and Janice tells her, "She is a pro!" Adrianne gets props all around, and Tyra thinks it was great that she was able to work with her mom in the room. Janice thinks that Shannon's picture is perfect, adding, "There is nothing wrong with this." Tyra wants to see more of her "hotness," and Shannon promises, "I'll work on that" as the crystallized ice that has formed around any attempts at sexuality clinks to the ground at the most inopportune of times. Giselle is up next. Her picture is of her flouncing across the frame as Clinton Portis just sort of lingers behind, looking confused. Janice calls it "surreal," and adds, "It is so good." Man, the IV needle was pushed in a little deeper for Janice this week. She digs it the most. But Tyra still worries about Giselle's confidence, and says that she heard Giselle walk off the shoot and immediately start fishing for compliments. Janice shouts, "All women fish for compliments!" She remembers that from when she used to be alive. Kesse, in her photo, looks like she got trapped behind glass and shot into space by Superman the day after she finished her role as "Extra" in Toni Basil's video for "Mickey." Janice comes down from her high just at this moment and really sneers hardcore, giving her best lip of the season: "This looks like she escaped from a mental institution. This is the worst photograph I've ever seen." There is no end to the amount of time I can watch that. Or this: "It looks like you have a penis. I'm sorry." Baby Phat says she looks like Tyra. Baby Phat thinks Tyra is chicks with dicks. Why on earth wouldn't they have her back this season?

"Who are we gonna cut this week?" Tyra asks, and the bloodletting begins. Steve Santagati says he thinks Robin is just too old to be getting into the business, and Janice screams from her side, "And fat! She's huge. She's not going to be a top model." Tyra does not like this line of discussion, losing her temper: "You are the problem with America. I think you are the problem of why women are leaning over their toilets at this very moment and vomiting after they've eaten...the full-figure market is changing." As an example, she names three fatty models you've never heard of. ["I, uh...have heard of all of them. Look, I subscribe to InStyle to stay informed about world events, and maybe you should, too, Djb." -- Wing Chun] Shannon impressed them all. Adrianne "keeps getting better and better," and Kesse has "grown." Janice thinks Giselle is the best "mover," but Steve Santagati thinks her confidence issue is a problem. Baby Phat says that she doesn't like Elyse because of her possible eating disorder, and Janice tells her to "drop the eating disorder issue," because that body type is "what a haute couture model needs." Tyra just shakes her head in horror as Steve Santagati says that there are superstars who are that skinny, and opens up an unholy alliance with Janice, who applauds girls who aren't afraid to not eat for their art.

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America's Next Top Model




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