America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Everyone Thinks Is Killing Herself

Episode Report Card
Djb: B | Grade It Now!
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Anorexia, Anorexia/Intimate, Obstinate/Anorexia

Meanwhile, Giselle is making the first cardinal error of public relations: thou shalt not ever align yourself with Michael Jackson. Ever. Giselle tells Cindi, "One day I'll be able to meet Michael Jackson...I am just infatuated with the guy's talent, and honestly, if I met him face to face, I probably wouldn't be able to look at him." You and me both, Count Chocula. Kesse takes a more typical reality-show route, telling Cindi that she is pushing herself because she never done got no love from her mama. Shannon reminds us that she has never known the touch of a man. Adrianne experimented with drugs when she was thirteen. Robin thanks the lord that she's lived her life the way she has. Elyse admits that she thinks there is a "subplot" that she has an eating disorder, misquoting Robin horribly by employing the scourge of correct grammar, saying that she wanted to get pizza but that Robin said, "You wouldn't eat any of it." Close. But we'll need about fourteen more negatives before you've got the cadence down. When in doubt, mangle.

Back in the living room, the remaining girls agree that dinner at Jay's house was the first time they'd ever seen Elyse eat, and even Adrianne jumps in to say she's convinced that she heard Elyse hit the bathroom the second she got home, where Adrianne heard vomit-y sounds. "She's killing herself," Adrianne tells us in a confessional. Elyse calls her mother and immediately starts crying, and her mother asks, "Having a bad day? Instead of a good day?" People say the weirdest things when they know they're on the phone on television. Elyse tells them that she's having so many problems with the other girls, adding for good measure, "Everyone's so stupid, too." She doesn't even care about winning the competition anymore and wants to leave. Because you know where no one ever pays attention to the comparative physical health of those they spend all of their time around? Medical school.

"Giselle annoys me the most out of everyone in the house," Elyse tells us in a confessional, adding with a perfectly straight face, "But I'm not willing to alienate Giselle because she's the only one in Tokyo with a straightening iron." And with that, her indoctrination is complete. Elyse tells Giselle that she really doesn't think she is fat, and that she would never make herself throw up because she knows it's bad for her. In a confessional, she tells us that, despite her attempts to "suppress [her] intellectual superiority," she knows more about eating disorders "than all of the rest of the girls combined." From having one? No! No, seriously. From having one?

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America's Next Top Model

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