America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Flops In The Mud

Episode Report Card
Potes: B | Grade It Now!
The Kloof Will Set You Free

The judges deliberate. Naima's photo is horrendous, according to Flambé, but Nigel says that he's falling in love with Naima all over again. Flambé then says that Christina needs to pump up her lip with gloss or collagen. Nigel says he doesn't think Christina needs surgery, and Tyra gives Flambé a look. Flambé then says that he thinks she's icy, because the only opinions that he can emit are those that have previously been uttered by others. Janice thinks that Kahlen is an ethereal Lolita in her shot, and Flambé is impressed by her knowledge in the critiques. Paola thinks that Keenyah is a beautiful woman with tremendous confidence, but Flambé doesn't see a model and adds that her body needs work. Why does he get to talk so much during this episode? I hate it. Also, he looks disturbingly like my Aunt Elaine. Nigel thinks Brittany looks drop-dead gorgeous in her photo, but that doesn't mean that he thinks she's progressing. Janice says that Brittany has soul and passion, and that Janice likes Brittany. Tyra says that Brittany looks like Janice's little sister, and that Janice sees herself in Brittany, which is why she likes her. Flambé can't leave well enough alone and adds, "Janice, with your first face, yes." Oh, you do not talk to my Aunt Miss Janice Dickinson that way. And then, brilliance. Janice says, "Don't get me going, short, fat, squatty bald blind boy." The alliteration! The simplicity! It just works. Flambé then replies, "Don't worry, my plastic surgery victim freak of nature." And he gets, like, one point for that, but then I take thirteen points away because I just can't stand him, and two more because he's generally an idiot. Nigel looks uncomfortable while Tyra laughs. Paola says, "This is what I was waiting for the whole night." This is what I was waiting for the whole season.

The girls return. The following girls are still in the running: Naima, who gets points for showing that she can be angry despite having a crap photo; Keenyah who is skating on thin ice because she's "too safe." Tyra acts like Keenyah has been getting this critique all season, which is totally not true. I hate how they lie so much at panel. None of their decisions or rationales makes any sense, and I don't know why they think we don't notice; Kahlen, who impressed the judges with her critique even though her shot was the worst yet. And then, inexplicably, the final two are Brittany and Christina. Well, I mean, the Christina part is explicable, but Brittany? Nigel practically whipped it out when he saw her photo. Anyway, Tyra tells the girls that they both take lovely pictures. One has the heart and soul of an angel. We clearly know that this isn't Brittany. But the judges see someone who's cold and icy. The other is a lot of fun, but also kind of a dumb-ass. Tyra says that they don't see progress, which was particularly evident during the challenge at judging. Nonetheless, Brittany gets a photo and Christina is eliminated. Christina cries and tells us that she's not a cold, reserved person, but put up a wall when she was in panel. She wishes that she could have shown her warmer side. She cries, and is really quite pretty, and it makes me sad. She says that she has to learn and grow from the experience and go from there. The sun sets on lovely South Africa as Christina's picture fades from the group shot.

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America's Next Top Model




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