We're down to the final four! Laura seems to have inherited some of Victoria's spirit and/or craziness as she gets very weepy about how much she misses her mom. She does not mention country cooking, but it's implied. The week's challenge has the girls going to the Half Moon Resort's equestrian center, which gives Laura a chance to wax poetic about her family's acres of land with stables and a pond. Happily, Kiara is there to remind us that nobody really wants to hear tales from rich people about how great it is to be rich.
Former Miss Jamaica Universe Yendi Phillips is on hand to judge the girls as they do a screen test for a Jamaica Tourist Board commercial. Each of the girls has to write a script about the wonders of Jamaica that is both factual and personal, and then deliver their lines while on horseback in the ocean. After being practically mauled and eaten alive and also molested by a dolphin last week, Leila has developed a newfound fear of animals and so is not thrilled by the horse component of this challenge. Laura loves it, though, having ridden horses since she was young. Even she finds it a little difficult to get through her lines while riding, but in the end pulls out a good take. Leila's fears turn out to be founded as her horse goes a little crazy and she freaks out. Eventually, though, she stops crying and turns in a decent take. Nastasia blanks on her lines while dealing with the feisty horse and is forced to improvise, while Kiara drops a whole series of F-bombs before nailing it. And though Laura has all of the horse experience, it is Kiara who wins the challenge and gets to be the face of a worldwide campaign for the Jamaica Tourist Board. Laura is displeased at Kiara's happiness, but all the pouting in the world can't diminish Kiara's cheer.
The week's photo shoot focuses on an ad for the America's Next Top Model fragrance, Dream Come True. This involves standing in the water with a giant perfume bottle, and trying to be not too innocent but not too sexy whilst also wearing a bikini. Nastasia puts in a bit of a middling performance, while Leila is worried that she's not commercial enough for this endeavor and spends a lot of time being very stiff and uncomfortable. Eventually, though, she warms up and gets some good shots. Laura is much too sexy, and can't seem to stop even when everyone including the client tells her that it's a problem. And Kiara cries a bunch to Bryanboy about how winning America's Next Top Model IS her dream come true, especially given her rough past. Her photo turns out to be rather lovely, and she claims the number one spot for the week. The judges are especially punchy with one another during this panel, and there is a lot of disagreement over the photos. Despite some differing opinions, Leila is also safe. Laura falls in the bottom two, but it is the lovely, lion-headed Nastasia who is sent packing and will miss out on appearing in the season's culminating fashion show: Ghost Brides: Asylum.
Previously: We all learned about how Tyra is terrified of getting banged by a dolphin. Also, Kristin bit it!
We enter in Montego Bay Jamaica, where the girls have some structured alone time designed to make it look like they have actual thoughts in their heads. Leila sits on a bench looking out at the water, while Laura wades in the ocean and Nastasia lets the breeze blow through her miraculous hair. Kiara tells us that it's coming down to the wire, and anyone could win -- that's what makes this such an intense and nervewracking experience. Also making the experience nervewracking is the fact that the producers really are trying to get someone killed by a marginally domesticated animal. Ratings bonanza! We get a series of sepia-toned montages -- one for each girl -- that put together the worst of their panel criticism from over the weeks. And then we get a sepia-toned montage of all the various conflicts and personal tragedies that have occurred. Laura was accused of being self-centered! A dolphin gave Leila a bruise! Nastasia had to stand fully clothed in a shower! Kiara was a real-ass bitch! Ah, halcyon days, the best of times.
The ladies head home to find Leila's best of week photo displayed as digital art. Leila tells us that she's quite sad that Kristin went home, before more or less yelling, "Psych!" and telling us that she's actually super happy that the witch is dead, ding dong, etc. Kristin of course terrorized Leila to the best of her abilities, and Leila now realizes that all of the "It Gets Better" videos were true. Laura tells us that panel was stressful, what with the being in the bottom two and all, and she gets extra stressed thinking about her family and home. I thought stress was an unknown concept in the small town of Happyville, where people spend all the time when they would be stressed bragging about having only one traffic light and watching Dynasty reruns. Nastasia tells us that she was born and raised in Harlem, and has been taught the value of working. She's prepared to fight for what she wants, and says that nothing is going to stop her. Well, we'll see about that, won't we?
Leila asks Kiara to join her in the Tyra Suite, because that's what you do with your one half-friend. Leila calls herself the comeback girl, and tells us that it would mean everything to her to make it a few more weeks and win the whole shebang. Of course, winning the competition also means a lot to Kiara. During her crappy youth, Kiara's very sweet-looking grandma told her that there was light at the end of the tunnel. She knows for a fact that this is her light. I mean, yes, there are lights. You're doing photo shoots, after all! I worry that all the flashbulbs have gotten Kiara a wee bit confused. At least she doesn't think she's entering the heavenly kingdom.