America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Gets A Boob Job

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Jeff Long: B- | Grade It Now!
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Flaw Week!

Next is Kim. She's supposed to be a breast-augmentation patient. She is holding the silicon packs over her chest. Janice says to Kim that she's annoyed with her because she's not changing her expression. She's right: Kim's not doing anything. However, this is pretty shitty art direction, too. There are much more provocative ways to imply breast implants. Janice tells Kim, "You have not seen diva yet." Fo fum.

It's Kyle's turn. Her procedure to mock is collagen lip injections. For the shot, she is looking into a hand-held saw as a mirror and holding a syringe to her lips. It's totally hot. You see? You can't go wrong with that set-up. Holding jelly packs over your chest while lying on a bed is a lot harder to sell. Janice is happy with Kyle.

Bre is up. In her interview, she tells us that she's very nervous and not performing well because she wants it so badly. Janice tells her to forget about Tyra and Iman. "Be...what's your name? Be Bre." Bre's procedure is cheek implants. Janice says she doesn't think Bre connected with the camera at all.

Next is Coryn. Her procedure is Botox. Janice begs "what's-her-name" to be softer. In an interview, Coryn says, "Everybody's like, 'Oh my gosh, you can't smile.' Whoop-dee-doo, but it's harder for some people." It's also harder for those same people to be coherent. Janice screams that she wants soft. She tells Coryn to think of toilet paper. Coryn is sweating from the pressure. I think she's had a stroke or something.

On the set, Jay asks Lisa if she's okay. "Pretty bummed because Janice was harassing you? Well, Janice is a little up and down. Don't worry about it." Lisa replies that she's like Janice as well. Kim thinks it's funny that Lisa's procedure is a facelift. Jayla says that Lisa is going to need one in about six months anyway. Kim says that Lisa is a year and a half older than she is, but that, in a year and a half, she won't look as old as Lisa does now. Jesus, with that kind of labyrinthine logic, Kim will soon be perfecting time travel. Lisa has lines on her face drawn like a pre-op facelift patient. Janice is coaching her, and Lisa sticks out her tongue lasciviously. "No, not like that," screams Janice. "Not like you're drunk." "It's so natural for her to be like that," replies Kim. The girls all laugh. Janice says that they're jealous: "This girl is a star." Well, when you flaunt your liquor sack as a prized possession, people are going to make jokes. Later, Lisa declares, "I rocked the house fizzle-thizzle today."

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America's Next Top Model

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