America's Next Top Model
America's Next Top Model

Episode Report Card
Potes: B | 1477 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Death Becomes Her

Tyra Mail! "Have you ever been visited by an extra-terrestrial?" And I mean...are they kidding me with this? ["BE QUIET!!!!" -- Tyra Banks] You know that Tyra was all, "Oh ha ha, good one," to the guys in Production who came up with that one, and that later when their bodies washed to shore it was discovered that they had been mysteriously poked to death with chicken bones. Do not cross Tyra, my friends. The Tyra Mail continues, "Be ready to leave at 1:00." Christina repeats, "Have you ever been visited by an extra-terrestrial?" and Kahlen pauses for a moment before plainly saying, "No."

The girls go to a suite at the Renaissance Hotel, where they are greeted by Jann Carl, a correspondent and anchor for Entertainment Tonight, who is there to teach them how to act when they are thrown into the media spotlight. And why is it that all the Entertainment Tonight women look the same and wear ugly, shiny clothing? Perhaps it's so you never know which one is actually (ding!) going to give you the seizure. Naima says that once they met Jann, the ET/extra-terrestrial thing made sense. Except that no, it actually (ding!) still makes no sense. Jann says that it's her job as an interviewer to draw out funny stories and intimate details from her subjects. We are treated to Michelle wearing an "I'm With Stupid" t-shirt and sitting next to Tatiana, which made me laugh for a full three minutes. As a reward, I will deduct one she-nis joke from the recap. Jann and the girls agree that when you see someone interviewed, you are really only hoping that some dirty, humiliating secret will be revealed. I think that is true of any interaction at any time, ever. The girls must learn how to navigate graciously around uncomfortable topics and questions. Well, it's worked for Whitney Houston. Show me the receipts! Each girl will have to mock-interview the supposed winner of ANTM, so each girl will take turns being both interviewer and interviewee. Kahlen interviews that she thinks she has this one in the bag, and Tatiana says that she doesn't know any of the girls and has no idea what questions to ask them. Maybe the chip on her shoulder contains some of those missing incisors. The girls have five minutes.

Keenyah interviews Naima, who says "amazing" a lot and doesn't divulge anything interesting or personal. She tells us that she will have to interview people at some point in her career, so this is good practice. Naima asks Keenyah if there was anyone in the house she wanted to strangle, and Keenyah says, "Her name was Brittany." Brittany cracks up and kicks her leg adorably as Jann tells Keenyah not to divulge quite so much information. Kahlen says that she was more nervous than she expected in the interview, and we see Brittany mention Kahlen's prior lack of boyfriends, and ask if Kahlen has had more luck getting dates. Kahlen says that she is now dating both Adam Brody and Colin Farrell. Jann says that Kahlen cheated, because she wasn't honest, and we got no sense of who she was. But isn't the point of this that they are in a pretend situation? This is no Janice Dickinson Season 2 interview, I'll tell you that much. Kahlen interviews Brittany, who says that she knew she had the competition in the bag from day one. Jann tells her to stick with things that she would honestly say, and Brittany replies that she would actually (ding!) say that before yelling "I'm just joking!" to the rest of the girls.

America's Next Top Model

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