America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Gets Bad News

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Death Becomes Her

Tatiana was boring and bumbling in the press conference, and needs not to show when she gets frazzled. Her picture as "greed" gets raves from everyone except Nigel, who says it's his least favorite. Johann says that though Tatiana's beautiful, her face looked strained in many of the photos. Nigel notes that her face can't handle a lot of makeup, which concerns him. Tyra says that Kahlen was sweet and real. The judges think that her "wrath" photo is fabulous. Johann says that she was like an actor pushing through personal difficulties, and Kahlen starts to look sad because she's sick of being compared to Robert Downey Jr. Janice yells, "What happened, honey?" and Typrah says, "No Janice, it's serious." Janice says, "Oh," and Tyra tells Kahlen that she doesn't have to talk about it. And then Michelle. Flambé says that he likes how comfortable she is with her sexuality, and that she has a relatable quality. Janice says that if that could be connected to a face and body vibe, they'd have a winner. When Michelle's "pride" photo comes up, the judges actually start laughing. And that's kind of mean. Flambé says that she looks like gay pride on a float. And I think he means to say a gay pride float. I'm surprised he didn't say, "You look like a hyena on top a float made of crack in the gay pride parade of the animal kingdom." The judges all laugh more. Janice tells Michelle that it has to come from inside, and that she has to be proud of who she is. Michelle starts to cry. Janice says, "Michelle, what's going on with you?" I think she's had it with Michelle. Michelle says that she just graduated high school and is trying to find out who she is, and that she put her heart and soul into the shot and tried so hard. Janice tells Michelle that she's had to go through years of criticism and feeling bad, and that it's just part of being a model, so she should get herself a nice drug addiction to dull the pain. Janice says that she's there to snap Michelle into the next level, but that if she doesn't understand that this is part of the job, she's going to get the boot.

Evaluations. Flambé says that Brittany is a wild child who needs some training. Tyra says that her photo doesn't look like a fashion model at all, but more like someone who wants to be a model. Um, isn't that kind of what Brittany is? This show kills me. Nigel says that Tatiana fell apart this week, and that although she is pretty and takes good pictures, she hasn't learned to speak at all. Janice says that she'll make a nice art-piece trophy wife someday. Nigel thinks that Naima is dynamite. Janice says that it's a great picture, and that Naima looks hot in it. Flambé says that Keenyah looks like a dead drag queen in the coffin. Tyra says that Keenyah looks like a girl in an R&B video talking about, "My man left me and I'm going to eat an apple." Oh, the fruit-loving world of R&B. Tyra explains about Kahlen's friend dying, and Janice looks shocked. They agree that Kahlen's photo is great, and that she consistently delivers. Nigel and Tyra agree that Michelle wants to be a model more than any other girl there. Janice cuts to the quick by saying, "Name one client that would book this girl. She should be working at a diner on roller skates." Nigel says that Christina's picture is beautiful, and Tyra says that it's sex and not lust. She asks Janice to "do lust to Nigel," and Janice obliges by kind of drooling over his face until Tyra tells her to stop. Those two are getting weirder than Paula and Simon.

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America's Next Top Model

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