America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Gets Bad News

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Death Becomes Her

Very special music brings us back to Kahlen and her plight. She says that it's obviously been tough to have one of her friends ripped away from her unexpectedly. She's having a bad day. She's wondering if she has the strength to go on with the competition. She says that she's trying to put it in the back of her mind so that it doesn't show up in her performance.

Tyra Mail! "It's the eve of your first time in the media spotlight. Be ready at the crack of dawn." The girls puzzle over what "crack of dawn" means, and while that sounds dumb, I kind of get where they're coming from. Like, they want to know where the little hand should be when the van comes to pick them up. Not that I'm saying that models aren't dumb, because they are. ["I just got back from a cruise, and every night we would get a little newsletter for what was happening on the ship the next day, including when sunrise and sunset were, as if my sister and I ever intended to see the sunrise. We were on vacation! Only on the last day we did have to see it because the Customs agents in San Juan had to come clear all the non-U.S. citizens at 6 AM, and we saw the sun come up and it was horrible. My point is this: the crack of dawn is early, and it sucks. Also, the Puerto Rican Customs agents were really hot." -- Wing Chun] In any case, the girls go to an office building, where they meet Bernadette Odoms, fashion marketing director. "Of what?" you may ask. Just be patient and all will be revealed, my friends. Bernadette says that the girls will have their media know-how put to the test in a challenge that is judged by Jann Carl, who obviously is being underutilized by ET if she has enough free time to provide the Top Model girls with a follow-up visit. Kahlen, who is wearing her black mourning sweater, says that she doesn't want the tragedy in her personal life to affect her performance in the competition.

Brittany, who looks really pretty, goes first. She is taken to a closed room, where she encounters special mystery guest Eve, who is billed as a rapper/actor/designer. She's wearing a fedora. Bernadette tells Brittany that her challenge will be to interview Eve about her new fashion line, Fetish. And now I finally understand what "I rock the Fetish people, you know who I am," means. Until now, whenever I heard Eve guest-rapping on Gwen Stefani's "Rich Girl," I always thought that she was big into S&M, and that only those in that community (the "fetish people" she professes to rock) knew that Eve was secretly a big dominatrix or something. Sometimes I read too much into things. Brittany is starstruck by Eve. She is handed a microphone and told that she has five minutes. She absolutely towers over Eve, as does pretty much every other model. Brittany asks Eve what her inspiration for Fetish was, and Eve says that she wore a lot of other designers and thought, "Why not?" And I have to say that Eve is not the most bubbly or forthcoming interviewee. Jann says that Brittany had good energy, but said some variation of "that's wonderful!" after Eve's every answer. Naima is slow and sort of loses her train of thought. Keenyah looks like an Amazon and is on point until she loses it and just starts rambling unintelligibly. Eve clearly has no idea what the hell she's talking about, and Jann covers her face with her eyes.

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America's Next Top Model

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