Well, it has been two weeks that we've been waiting with great anticipation to learn which male model -- Mike, Phil, or Jeremy -- would return to the competition. I was 100% sure it would be Phil, but it turns out he was felled by virgin Jeremy, who accompanies Alexandra back into the fray. This gives Jourdan 100% more opportunities to be a bitch to him, which she does with relish. Marvin sees only positives in the fact that Jourdan finds Jeremy so annoying, and hopes that he will throw her off of her game. Meanwhile, we learn that Alexandra has a condition in which her heart rate gets so high that no oxygen gets to her brain, which is the 2013 version of vagus nerve syndrome.
This week's challenge has the models auditioning for a commercial, with comedian Reggie Watts playing the part of director and telling them to do all kinds of crazy stuff like kissing unicorn heads, getting doused in water, and sticking their hand in the mouth of a camel costume. Kelly and Reggie are looking for who commits, is professional, and is believable…in their unicorn kissing. Renee is tripped up by her fear of giant animal costumes, and though Kelly tells us that there's no time on set to deal with someone's irrational phobias, Renee pushes through it and does okay. It's Alex and Jourdan, however, who excel at the challenge and Jourdan is named the winner. No one else is particularly excited about that, as you can imagine.
Back at home, Chris is disgusted at how slovenly his model roommates are. He starts cleaning the dishes, then gets mad at how the girls haven't cleaned anything and leaves dirty dishes for Renee and Alex with notes attached to them. He note for Renee calls her a ratchet ass, which does not go over so well. She tells Chris that he's nasty in his soul, and nobody likes him. Jourdan then pipes in to say that Chris has to have known love to have respect for others. Jeremy gets pissed at the Chris gang-up, and then asks Jourdan what she knows about love since she got married and divorced at 18. Madness ensues! Cory plays peacemaker between the guys and girls, with the very sane note to just do the damn dish and move on. Jourdan apologizes to Chris and Jeremy apologizes to Jourdan, and then they talk it out and hug. Renee, however, doesn't like Chris as a human being and refuses to be sorry for any of it.
The models head to a high school photo shoot that is all about showing off your flawsomeness, because differences are what make you awesome. Albino male supermodel Shaun Ross is there, along with Disney Channel star Zendaya. Cory gets a widow's peak and is told down his fierceness, Renee rocks a fivehead a la Tyra, Jourdan experiments with a unibrow in chemistry class, Chris has a hard time figuring out how to open his mouth to highlight a tooth gap, Don flexes his skinny legs, Jeremy gives duck lips, Marvin gets a mole plopped on his nose, Alex has big hips, and Nina just has to highlight her awesome flawsome huge eyes.
At panel, Alexandra's heart issue kicks into gear. She gets sick and has to go lay down while scores are being tabulated and the evictee is announced. And it's her who is eliminated for a second time! She's told by a producer while she's still laying down on some sort of cot, and seems a bit dizzily relieved about the whole thing and/or basically just wants to sleep. Once she recovers and realizes she missed a trip to Bali, she may be a bit more heartbroken about the situation.
Previously on Top Model: We learned that Alexandra was the eliminated model with the highest social media score, and thus would be returning to the competition. She fell to the ground in happy tears, and the other eliminated models expressed great distress. But then Tyra announced that one of the male models would be coming back as well, because the public is so hankering for an extended season of America's Next Model Cycle 20. Will it be Phil, the rugged wildcard? Sexy ice cream man Mike? Or Jeremy, the bodylicious virgin? And I mean, everyone who knows Jeremy is now going to call him a bodylicious virgin constantly, right? This show ruins lives, my own included.
We open with Mike, Jeremy and Phil standing before Tyra, all looking like they want to throw up. Tyra first reveals the model who has the lowest social media score and is not in the running. It's Mike, with a lowly 5.2. And he gave up his job on an ice cream truck for this! So then it's time to learn which dude gets to come back. And I was sure that this whole thing was designed to get Phil back into the competition because, you know, he's Phil. But nay! Phil had a social media score of 5.5, but Jeremy thoroughly trounces him with a score of 6.7. Cory is surprised and yet not surprised, because there are a lot of folks out there who get excited when Jeremy takes off his shirt. Tyra hugs Phil, who says he's okay with it all. He tells us that he has a lot of sad thoughts and words aren't working right now. At least he doesn't throw any bricks. So now he gets to go home to his girlfriend, who hopefully is VERY understanding.
Tyra congratulates the remaining NINE models, telling them that there's no more coming back so they better work. On the bus, Alexandra celebrates and Cory gives her a big hug. She tells us that her heart is beating a million miles a minute, but in a happy way this time (SPOILER ALERT). Jeremy tells the others that he had no doubt he'd be coming back, and Jourdan gives an eye roll. In the first place, one person coming back was enough. Two is excessive! And if she doesn't get to go to Bali she's going to be pissed. Even if she does get to go to Bali, I'm guessing she'll find a way to be pissed. Chris's best of week photo is displayed as digital art back at the house, and we are reminded that his mom told him every day that he was a failure. Wouldn't it be great if all the negligent parents of these contestants had to come and get a dressing down from Tyra in the panel room?