America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Gets Pwn'd

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Things that Make You Go Pwn

As the girls get their (crazy cool) hair and makeup done, Kristin asks Johnny if they'll be shooting with some sort of extreme wild animal. He asks if there's anything that she couldn't handle, and Kristin says that she can deal with anything except for a monkey or maybe a bird. I suppose we can only hope that the owl will get a good peck to her forehead. We then cut to Mike and Johnny introducing the shocking co-star, Groovy the Owl. Johnny says that Groovy has a sharp beak and sharp claws and is a little unpredictable, so the girls should keep her at a good distance from their face. Except for Kristin, who should place Groovy exactly inch from the bridge of her nose and then engage in a staring contest.

Laura is up first, channeling a crazy mad hatter. She tells us that she loves going first, because it gives her the opportunity to set the bar high for the other girls. Laura may sometimes come off like quite a twat, but she really can model. Her poses are great, and Mike just screams, "Gorgeous!" Bryanboy, who's just sort of constantly hovering around, is impressed at how Laura nailed basically every shot. Oh God, and speaking of Bryanboy, Brittany feels the need to go confront him about his reaction at panel. The steampunk look is not doing her any favors, I have to say, as she looks rather like a cross between a homeless Helena Bonham Carter and Tiny Tim. I guess that's just "Helena Bonham Carter," now that I think about it. Also, nobody cares if Bryanboy shook his head when Leila went home. He tells Brittany to be confident, and then she blathers on about being her Disney self for a while. I mean, she seems like a nice enough girl, but also is one of the most boring humans I've ever gazed upon. Brittany's conversation with Bryanboy gives her ever more determination, and Johnny likes the variety that she's giving.

Meanwhile, as the girls wait around, Kristin wonders aloud if those who have already shot have to wait until the others are finished before they leave. Yvonne says that she's pretty sure they do, since they always have, and it sucks. Kiara wonders what's going on with Yvonne and her incessant complaining lately. Wasn't she always like that? Nastasia is next to shoot, and per usual her struggle is that she comes off as short. She looks very cool though. Then there's Kiara. Johnny asks her for intensity, and she seems to give it. Victoria, however, is not impressed. Allyssa exists and a bird poops on her shoe, and that's about all we know about her for this entire episode. Kristin is next, and is a little freaked out by the bird. Mike Ruiz taunts (or pwns?) her by saying, "Without risking your life, just bring the bird a little closer to you." Have I mentioned how gorgeous Groovy is? Laura tries to make the Kristin bird situation into some dramatic thing, but it's really not that big of a deal. Sadly, no pecking takes place.

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America's Next Top Model

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