Twiggy tells the girls that her unique name really gave her a quick start in the world of modeling. And then she introduces a "new, young model" who has also changed her name. Don't get excited, it's just Melrose from Cycle 7. She says that her real name is Melissa Rose, but no one remembers that because there are a million Melissas. She says that "Tyra," "Iman," and "Giselle" are all names people remember. Well, yeah, but they're not stupid-sounding, which I think gives them an edge. Twiggy tells the girls that they are going to have to rename themselves -- this will be the start of their "super selves." Soon, they will gain additional powers like setting other models' implants aflame with only their eyes, thus causing headlines of "Spontaneous Combustion On the Runway!" worldwide. Renee interviews that when she was younger, all of her nicknames were mean ones. That's a real surprise. She says that she's not going to go around introducing herself as "Canoe Feet." How about "Bitchface"?
The girls get, like, two minutes to make their new names, so most of them are pretty stupid. Whitney says that her middle name is Michelle, so she decided to go the Melrose route, and rename herself "Whitelle." That sounds like a fabric softener. Next! Sarah says that her middle name is Moe. It is? For real? Sarah Moe? Seriously? Anyway, Sarah is going with "Moe." If Jael changes her name to "Curly," and Jaslene goes with her birth name of "Larry," things could get very interesting. Next! Brittany says that she's always gone by "Brit," with one t, not two. Boring. Next! Jaslene and Jael both like their names, so are going to keep them. Good decisions, ladies. Next! Natasha is going with "Nata," which was her nickname when she was little. Eh, that one's okay. Next! Okay, wait, I need to go to a new paragraph, because what happens next is the greatest thing ever.
So, it's Dionne's turn. She says that her mom was watching the Discovery Channel one night, and there was a show about a thirteen- or fourteen-year-old girl named -- wait for it -- "Wholahay." Her family was marrying her off to a forty-year-old guy. Dionne says that she likes to date older men, so her mom nicknamed her "Wholahay." I'm sorry, but Dionne is a genius. I LOVE HER. I laughed so hard at "Wholahay" that I missed whatever happened between this point and the commercial break. I just kept saying "Wholahay." Say it with me now: "Wholahay." Wholahay Wholahay Wholahay. Knock knock. Who's there? Wholahay. Who? Wholahay. Wholahay Who? I mean, it could go on forever. A bunch of teenage girls should form a tribute band for The Who, and call it The Wholahay. Dionne = Love. Melrose, displaying a level of tact that might surprise even a casual viewer of Cycle 7, says that if you introduce yourself as "Wholahay," it's bound to be a conversation starter. As in, once you turn around, people will turn to each other and say, "What did that crazy bitch say her name was?"