America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Gets Thrown In The Pool

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The Girl Wholahay

So, back to the other girls, who are not as brilliant as Dionne. Renee is going with "Nayien." She says that it has a little bit of her current name in it, and is "spelled really cool, too." She once again has a scarf wrapped around her head. Is she Muslim or something? Did I just offend Muslims? Well, no matter. The girls are all going to be invited to a very smart and sexy party where they'll be meeting some very important and influential people who can help them with their careers. Twiggy and Melrose give the girls some key points to remember. 1) Be eloquent. Yeah, that one's going to turn out really well. 2) Don't monopolize the conversation. A little ironic coming from Melrose. 3) Show your sense of humor. Try to be witty, but not over-the-top. This is clearly not a challenge that is geared for a Renee win. The best part of the whole thing is that the girls have to use their new names at the party. Wholahay Meets World!

In the limo on the way home, Renee out of nowhere busts out with "I can't wait to have some stimulating conversation." Um, what you talkin' 'bout, Nayien? Jael asks if Renee is saying that she hasn't been having stimulating conversations, even though she's surrounded by the other seven girls. Renee says, "What does it sound like I'm saying? I cannot wait to have some stimulating conversations." Jael comes back with "Well that's because maybe nobody wanna talk to you." It's grammatically suspect, but awesome nonetheless. Renee looks a little hurt, which might garner some sympathy if she weren't so rancid all the time.

When the girls get home, there is Tyra Mail! "It's gonna be a hot night, time to try out your new name and shine real bright. But beware of the funky cold Medina. Love, Tyra." Renee says that she knows that song, and so thought that it was going to be a transvestite party. And really, I think we can thank Mr. Tone Loc for being the only human genius enough to rhyme "Oscar Mayer Wiener" with "Funky Cold Medina." However, I have to say that I knew instantly that Tyra's manager, Benny Medina, was going to be at the party. Didn't you?

The girls head off to the party, which is sponsored by SmartWater. Renee is still wearing the scarf on her head. The hell? They introduce themselves under their new names, and I almost die when Dionne goes up to the DJ and says, "I'm Wholahay." For some reason, Bill Maher is at the party, but not dressed as a dead Anna Nicole Smith. Sarah says that she's really excited about the party, because with her photography, one of the things that she's done a lot of is networking. I have to say that if there's one thing in the world I hate, it's networking. At parties, I like to sit in the corner nursing a drink and thinking about how much cooler I'd be if my name were Wholahay. Whitney and some of the other girls meet Tia and Tamera Mowry, the twins who had that show about being twins, but are not the Olsens. Whitney interviews that it was a big deal to be at such a "celebrity-clad" [sic] event. Other celebrity notables at the event include Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, and some guy named Jason from Laguna Beach. Jael goes up to Jason and says that she thinks he's real lame. They all laugh. Yeah, it's funny until you try to do it to Fitty. And speaking of...the girls meet 50 Cent! He says that Nayien (a.k.a. Renee) looks like a model for real. Mr. Cent must have a thing for head scarves.

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America's Next Top Model

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