America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Goes Ballistic

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Potes: C- | Grade It Now!
You Go Back, Jack, Do It Again

Tyra comes on the stage in a nurse's outfit and tells the girls that they are going to Tokyo. The Pink Positive girls -- Eva, Ann, and Norelle -- are excited to share this experience and vow not to be bitch to each other. Oooh, I'd be dying of suspense about who was bitchy to whom, but I've ALREADY SEEN ALL THE EPISODES, UPN.

The girls endure a thirteen-hour flight and are immediately thrown into the frenzy of Tokyo. They meet Tyra in one of her many hideous outfits, and are assigned to do a commercial for Campbell's Soup in Japanese. Nicole has been given constant criticism that she doesn't have a personality, and so she plans to blow the judges away with her crack acting skills. Yeah, good luck with that, Meryl Streep. Eva really struggles with the commercial, and gets bitchy about it afterward. She says that she hopes someone else with bad pictures fucks up, so that she goes home instead of Eva. Ann infers that Eva means either Ann or Norelle, and is mad that Eva wants Norelle to bite it. In accordance with Eva's plan, Norelle screws up.

At judging, the girls do a commercial for umeboshi, which Tyra says is "an exotic pickled plum." The plum gets all riled up about Tyra calling it "exotic," and forum posters everywhere weigh in on the matter. It plans to band together with Yaya to protest, but then, in the words of Tyra, "Yaya disrespected the product." Yaya, in fact, spits out the umeboshi, which everyone finds to be insulting. Oh, sweet, sweet karma. Tyra says that what's worse than a bad performance is a performance that is unmemorable, and Nicole is sent packing. She is sad. Viewers are sad.

Now five girls remain! Tyra describes them as

"Eva, the controversial diva!
"Ann, the all-American athlete!
"Yaya, the worldly Ivy League graduate!
"Amanda, the free-spirited mom who's going blind!
"And Norelle, the Orange County Cinderella!"

Wow, Amanda really doesn't have much going for her, does she?

Coming up on ANTM: actual new material. Yay!

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America's Next Top Model




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