America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Goes Ballistic

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You Go Back, Jack, Do It Again

The girls do a topless shot for Lee Jeans. "Kristi" hates her boobies and is nervous and uncomfortable. "Kristi" says that the confidence and skill to model aren't coming as fast as she would like. Janice and Nigel tell her to fake it until she makes it. Which might be a long while, because she is eliminated.

The girls then go to posing school with Miss Janice Dickinson. At this point, my dad said, "Who is that? That is one scary-looking woman." Janice teaches Yaya how to pose with her hands in her hair and says, "Stick 'em right into that wild hair like you're looking for lice." Ha! More Janice! Janice kicks Jennipher out of a photo and says, "You could do better even in Idaho." She tells the girls to suck in their stomachs at all time. Janice criticizes Kelle, who has been having kind of a rough time of it anyway. Kelle remarks that maybe she's not as cute as she thought she was, which makes me sad all over again.

The girls then meet Barney's creative director Simon Doonan, who outfits them in lingerie and poses them in La Perla's storefront. Simon likes Kelle a lot, and says that Jennipher is "a little dull, slash very dull." He tells her that she looks like she's had a Quaalude. Well, if she's following Janice's advice, that would make sense. Kelle wins the competition, and picks Amanda and Toccara to share in her lingerie prize. The other girls have to model the lingerie for them. The three winners sip champagne and watch the others walk in their undies. Kelle had a good time and for that, I am glad. Thank you, Simon Doonan!

Now, for more of what we didn't see. The girls had regular workouts with physical trainer Savvas. Ann says, "Our hot trainer Savvas kicked our ass today." Awww, Ann is attracted to Savvas! She must think that he is a woman! Eva throws up from the stress of the workout. Amanda says that she hasn't worked out since high school. Does being blind preclude physical fitness? Didn't she have that Posture Pete album, at least? I totally had that album. The girls scream that they hate Savvas.

The next day, the girls have a photo shoots on roller skates. Disco music accompanies them. Well, until we get to Amanda. Then, a tender ballad is cued. It goes a little something like this:

Please, don't let this feeling end
It might not come again
And I want to remember
How it feels to touch you.
How I feel so much.
Since I found you.
Looking through the eyes of love.

And then Amanda finds the courage to skate despite her disability, thanks to the love of her boyfriend Robby Benson. But be careful of the roses on the rink! Wait, I think I just teared up a little.

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America's Next Top Model

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