America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Goes Ballistic

Episode Report Card
Potes: C- | Grade It Now!
You Go Back, Jack, Do It Again

Ann: Yeah, well you're bulimic!
Cassie: I said don't touch my shit!
Ann: I will always touch your shit!
Kelle: Hee hee hee!

In the van, Eva, Ann, and Norelle discuss why Yaya must get all up in the business when it's not really her problem. Ann says that Yaya is going to be like, "Why the fuck are you so immature?" Someone -- perhaps Norelle -- says to the imaginary Yaya, "Why don't you shut the fuck up." Ha! Well said, my friend.

At home, Eva confronts Yaya to try to defuse the tension. She says that the only negative energy that she feels in the house is coming from Yaya. Yaya says that she doesn't feel negativity toward Eva (perhaps she's the one who stole the crystals, then?), and in fact, she feels nothing at all towards Eva. She says, "I have very low tolerance. And I build a wall between people, and they don't exist in my world. That's just how I am. And I don't think I'm a cold person, I'm warm, but I's easy for me to just say, I don't want to be bothered." Yeah, she's a real Mother Teresa, that Yaya. Norelle looks on in disbelief, and Toccara tells Yaya that she is, in fact, cold. Eva says that Yaya can continue to feels how she feels, but that the tension is unnecessary. Yaya looks at her. Coldly.

The girls do a shoot on a trampoline, where Yaya struggled as she tried to rein in her dancer-like instincts. Jay says that Yaya's taking the advice of the panel literally is not helping her. Yaya pouts. Eva snarks on Yaya. Kelle asks for constructive criticism during her shoot, and Jay, per usual, is a dick.

And then, the greatest thing happens. At panel, Tyra looks over at Janice and says, "Janice is naked under the table." Janice says, "I'm sitting on a cushion and I'm judging just fine." That poor cushion. It has experienced tenfold what many cushions dread. Then Janice says, "I'll put my ass on the table." Then she proceeds to put her ass on the table. Her naked bits are pixilated. She says, "I'll judge like this, aiight? Cause I've got the best legs going here. That's what I'm talking about!" If it is indeed true that Janice is now clean and sober, it's really beyond my comprehension to think about what she must have been like in her wild days. Also, she should stop with her attempted ghetto talk, because it sounds silly.

In the confessional booth, Ann and Eva imitate Janice at panel. The clips of them imitating her are not nearly as amusing as the actual Janice clips, which, in fact, rule. Ann takes an opportunity to put her arms around Eva and cuddle her closer.

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America's Next Top Model




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