Meanwhile, it's finally time for the damn challenge. Brooke says that she interpreted their Tyra Mail to mean that they'd be designing their own dresses and walking in them. Well, it's the best you can expect from a high-school dropout. The girls go to some ornate house with a cobblestone bridge and walkway, where Miss J. meets them in a drag queen's interpretation of a Shirley Temple dress. He looks like a big chocolate-covered cherry. Or, rather, a cherry-covered chocolate. Wearing a mask. A cherry-covered chocolate on Halloween. Michelle says that every time they see J., he's in something more radical and hilarious. I think all the commentary around how awesome J. is is trying to make us forget how much we can't stand him anymore. You know who I can stand, though? The twins. They look so pretty in this episode. J. prances down a big line of police "do not cross" caution tape, which should really surround him wherever he goes.
J. tells the girls that their balance is going to be put to the test, and then for no reason at all introduces Season 5's Bre, who is apparently "one of the best walkers" the show's ever had. Bre stomps down the cobblestones, but is not even close to the caution tape. What's up with that? And on a similar note, what's up with her giant fro Ronald McDonald hair? J. tells the girls that they have to walk a straight line and be poised and balanced while dealing with the cobblestones, and masks. They get about five minutes each to strip down and get into yet another ugly dress and heels, and also each accessorize themselves with a mask, which apparently makes it very hard to see. I wish one of them had a Richard Nixon mask. Maybe A.J.
The girls start to walk. Amanda is first and is a disaster. Bre laughs. Not so fast, there, Krusty the Clown. Amanda has your granola bar in her cleavage. Then there is the hunchback of Notre Dame, a.k.a. Megg. Then Michelle. Miss J. says that Michelle needs to walk like a girl, but a sexy girl. A.J. looks pretty good, despite having scabby legs and, perhaps, cankles. She interviews that she naturally walks in a straight line. Fascinating. Jaeda does pretty well, but needs to go faster. Monique actually looks okay, and says that she knows she needs to step it up. Melrose is going along okay, but then stumbles. Bre tells her that it's okay, and to recover. I'm sorry, but name one real runway show Bre has appeared in. Can't they ever get a legitimate expert? Miss J. says that Melrose stumbled but didn't recover like a model should have. And then Melrose is, like, crying on a bench. WTF? Monique laughs and mocks her in an interview. You can't blame her for that one. Miss J. tells Eugena to walk like she's going through hell in gasoline-soaked pajamas. He notes that she has one of the safest walks, and hasn't stepped up to the plate yet. Then there is Brooke, who doesn't stumble, but still kind of looks ridiculous on account of the fact that she just isn't a model. Anchal has a bit of a hard time, and Caridee looks a straight fool. J. tells her that she is the sex kitten of the house right before he and Bre make fun of the little point thing she does at the end of the runway. Caridee is wearing a big feathered mask, though, and can't see it. I have a feeling that that's how she goes through life in general. For once, though, her weave doesn't look bad.