America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Goes To Texas

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The Yellow Hos Of Texas

Jay has the girls see the runway, which is in the middle of a big-ass pool. The girls are not amused. Jay says that it's to entice the audience and make the experience something new and special. And, also, to humiliate the girls. Jay says that he's walked the runway all day, and is fine. Well, that's certainly a matter of opinion. Jay tells us that this runway is not unrealistic, and that the girls have to be ready to do almost anything to sell a garment. The girls are outfitted in their Joan Collins castoffs. Caridee is still riding high from walking in the Austin show and riding Dennis Quaid. She's ready to rock it.

The crowd files in, and there is at least one token freak. Even freakier is the runway, which is made of giant Cracker Jack tilt to-and-fro cards. That shit is wobbly. Not nice. Brooke is up first and Jay notes that, while she was not fierce, she was relatively composed, particularly given how hard it was to be the first to go. Jaeda is next, and is surprised by the tilty runway. Jay is impressed at the way she held her composure. Next is Anchal, who looks ridiculous. Then there is Caridee, whose boob is totally out. Everyone laughs, and Jay yells that that's fashion. Charlie Altuna says that it's so Paris. Paris, the City of Boobs. Boob aside, Caridee looks pretty ridiculous, and Jay says that Miss J. would die in horror if he saw her. Caridee says that all she was thinking was to get back dry. Megg has no energy, and Miss J. wonders if she was asleep. Jay says that A.J.'s pose on the runway was breathtaking. Michelle also owned the end of the runway, and Amanda did well keeping up her pace. Eugena then comes out, and says that she wants to project some sort of emotion in each shot. What she actually projects is suckitude as she turns and slips off of one of the tilty to-and-fros. The crowd looks on with amused horror. Eugena says that she just kept going after she fell off, and points out that she's bleeding. Melrose worked it with confidence, even while wobbling. And then it's time for the finale walk, which is a riot given that the runway is really not big enough for two people, and also tilty. Jay says that if the girls were smart, they would push their counterpart off the runway. And then have a catfight in the pool, which would involve pulling chunks of weaves out. The clothes are begging for it.

After everything is done, Eugena says that Monique, in her illness, would not have been able to do the runway shoot given that the rest of the girls were all well and still sucked. Back at the house, Eugena recounts the night's events to Monique and notes that being on the runway was one of the hardest things she's ever done. Monique, lying on the bean bag bed that she eschewed mere days ago, says that she would have failed because she's so weak. And such an asshole.

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America's Next Top Model

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