America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Graduates

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Stay In School, Bitches
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously: Michelle loves herself some ladies, and confessed it to the world. Amanda went into her shell, which is not the same shell as the half-shell stood upon by Venus, which would of course make Michelle feel all tingly inside. Janice Dickinson came back and was sober (I know, bummer). At a celebrity-couple inspired photo shoot, Melrose was awesome (boo, hiss), whereas A.J., channeling the feeling of a thousand TWoPpers, couldn't hide her indifference. Eight bitches remain! And I mean it when I say that eight is not only enough, but probably at least six too many.

It is night at the Bitchfords' house. Eugena, having decided that Melrose is getting too much of the bitch edit that rightfully belongs to her, chooses to vent in the confessional. She says that it's been weeks since they've been there, and the girls are starting to "show their asses." Like, literally? Will we get to see it? She continues that Jaeda won't stop complaining about her hair, CariDee can't keep her clothes on, Anchal is a complainer, and Melrose is a backstabbing ho. Well the CariDee part we can attribute to her bravery in overcoming psoriasis. The others just kind of suck. I mean, Eugena is being really bitchy and all, but she kind of just says all the stuff that we've been saying all along. I might have even used the words "backstabbing ho" verbatim. Also, is it wrong to think that Eugena looks kind of pretty in the confessional?

Anchal walks on the runway as a barely-clothed CariDee gives her encouragement. Hey, Eugena is totally right! CariDee interviews that Anchal is struggling with her weight and has low self-esteem. CariDee says that Anchal has to raise her self-esteem herself, along with some peer mediation. Yeah, I'm sure hearing seven skinny bitches talking about how they just can't bear to finish their wedge of lettuce because they're too full is really going to do the trick. Anchal tells us that she's an "in the corner" type person, and tends to be self-conscious about everything, especially her body weight. It's stressing her out. Anchal's interview is totally cobbled together with, like, dental floss. She's actually wearing two different shirts from the first half to the second. Nice. Also, I'm waiting for CariDee to bust out with, "Nobody puts Anchal in the corner." Except no one wants to do a lift in the lake with Anchal.

Meanwhile, it appears to be mail day. Brooke gets a package, which she predicts will be graduation-themed. Awww, Brooke has a family who loves her! Brooke tells us that her graduation and prom are both coming up. She's bummed that she won't get to participate in the rite of passage of walking on the stage and getting her diploma (which her mom sent to her), but she says that it's a sacrifice that she's made, and she's really happy to be a part of ANTM. Hold that thought, Li'l Brooke.

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America's Next Top Model

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