America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Graduates

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Stay In School, Bitches

Melrose tells us that she woke up and went into the backyard, where she found all sorts of photographic equipment. She also finds Elyssa Traub, who is Blossom's twin, and also a photo shoot producer. Elyssa says that they're going to have an impromptu shoot. The photographer is...TYRA BANKS! Try to contain your excitement. Tyra says that she's been playing with photography for about ten years as sort of a hobby. She tells Melrose that she shot the ANTM finalists on Season 1 -- WHICH IN HER REVISIONIST HISTORY DO NOT INCLUDE THE SKANK WHO MARRIED THE GUY FROM THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY OR WHATEVER AND IS AS DEAD TO HER AS NAOMI CAMPBELL -- and recently she shot Nicole Richie. I have to say that the Nicole Richie photo is pretty good.

But today, Tyra is doing an edgy, black and white photo for the girls. She wants it to be angry, and almost kind of evil. Hey, Melrose can handle that. It should also still have sex appeal. To wit, the girls will wear contacts from the Michael Jackson "Thriller" video. Maybe they were found in a time capsule, along with leggings and skinny jeans and all of Melrose's clothes. Melrose puts in the contacts and is made up with a super smoky eye, and gets her hair teased out all over the place. She looks like the Bride of Frankenstein, but more whore-ish. Brooke gets made up and asks Tyra if it's okay if she growls. Rather than growl, she jowls. Seriously, reattach that jaw, baby girl. Brooke interviews that being young, it's sometimes a little overwhelming, and she doesn't have the experience that the other girls have. The other girls have experience? Coulda fooled me.

Next is Eugena, who looks evil and kind of hot. Michelle puts her contact in her mouth before putting it in her eye which, as a number of posters have noted, is not the most sanitary move one could make. Tyra tells her to think angry and scary, but not to lose her model. She says to use Halloween as inspiration. Jay Manuel should be in the shot as a jack-o'-lantern. Jaeda complains and says that she feels icky. Tyra tells her that she looks scary. She means it in a good way, but Jaeda is still all hung up on her transformation into a she-male. Jaeda says that she doesn't like looking freaky; it's not her thing, and she likes to be the pretty girl. Well, keep dreaming. Amanda is next. Tyra tells her that she looks nervous and uncomfortable. She doesn't want Amanda to second-guess herself. This advice seems to work and Amanda looks much more confident from that point on. Then there is Anchal, who is excited to be shot by Tyra, and nervous about the shoot. CariDee likes the sexy/scary shot, which she thinks is hot. And seriously, if CariDee is involved, it's bound to be hot. She tells Tyra that she loves the camera, and then she and Tyra make scary faces at each other as the segment ends.

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America's Next Top Model

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