America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Grates

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Water, Water Everywhere

Miss J. tells the girls that they're the lucky four, and that a lot of it is hard work, but that some of it is luck as well. Miss J. says that Melrose reminds him of the girls who do calendar pinups and car modeling. HA! That is such an insult. Cut to Melrose saying that she's going to win. Miss J. then calls the twins the goofiest, dumpiest girls. I don't think he realizes that Michelle is gone. Amanda says that since she's the solo twin, the competition has changed for her. She's never done anything by herself, and really wants to be an individual. Miss J. says, "May the best bitch win." Well, Melrose is certainly the best bitch.

The girls return home to Tyra Mail. "Head up, shoulders back. It's going to be a stiff competition." Caridee, of course, thinks this means that she gets another male model to bone, and goes skipping off to her room to prepare. She puts on heels, along with a wifebeater and short shorts, and says that she knows her body and mind, and knows that she can dance; she just has to make sure she doesn't overthink it. She and Amanda practice together. Amanda says that she plans on practicing quite a bit tonight, because she needs it. Melrose, on the other hand, says that she's 100% confident that she's going to shine. She doesn't want to overpractice, because once you start dancing, it just kind of works. Oh, we'll see about that, dastardly Smell-rose.

Meanwhile, Caridee is dancing, Eugena is sleeping, and Amanda is getting ready for bed. Amanda interviews that the competition is getting tougher and tougher as there are fewer girls, and that she doesn't want to go home. We see "surveillance cam" footage of Amanda in her granny nightgown, practicing her flamenco dance moves. Hott. She says that she wants to win this, and that it's for Michelle. Michelle the impetigo-laden wrestler. Yeah, you heard it right. You want to make something of it? Commercials.

When we return, it is morning. As the Barcelona light streams in, Caridee and Eugena lounge in bed. Caridee tells Eugena to feel how smooth her armpits are. Old world Europe really inspires romance, does it not? Caridee interviews that Eugena is a real person who listens, talks, and is genuinely concerned. Caridee then wants to show Eugena her dance. She does, and Eugena just laughs. Eugena says that, over the past several weeks, she and Caridee have really bonded. I don't know, man. The way they're flipping their hair and rolling around in bed half-naked with each other makes them seem closer than Britney and Paris, if you know what I mean. Caridee rolls toward Eugena while pushing her firm buttocks to the ceiling and says that she hopes it's the two of them at the end. Eugena seems down with that too, adding, "Yeah, I'd be pissed off if she won." And I don't think I need to tell you whom "she" refers to. Caridee interviews that Melrose is as fake as WWF wrestling. Hey, another veiled connection to Michelle the impetigo-laden wrestler! They perform well, says Caridee, but there's really nothing there. And in fact, I can see some similarities between Melrose and Rowdy Roddy Piper. And you know who isn't crazy about Caridee? Melrose, as it turns out. Melrose says that she's not going to be mean, but that Caridee has no problem with vulgarity, and that it's pretty gross. As proof we get the Nigel-stick-ass comment from last week. Melrose says that she wants to win, and that she's not concerned about making friends. And it's a good thing, too, because if that were a concern, she'd be failing miserably.

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America's Next Top Model




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