America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Grates

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Water, Water Everywhere

Meanwhile, back at home, there are presents! Amanda is psyched that Eugena picked her to share in the prize. Amanda opens her gift first, and it is a jacket from designer Custo Barcelona. The jacket is pretty cool. Eugena gets a jacket and a shirt from Custo. Quite awesomely, Melrose is seething. She interviews that she hates Caridee. Caridee interviews that she's over Melrose. She knows that Melrose has a problem with not winning and will lash out. Melrose says that the attitudes are a little diva these days, and that she's over Caridee, and had better win the competition herself. NEELY O'HARA! Commercials.

Meanwhile, Dani(elle) is STILL droning on about her Cover Girl commercial with Queen Latifah. Jesus, get a real gig. Is that commercial ever even on?

When we return, there is Tyra Mail! "Will you drown when faced with your own competition? Let's see which girl will sink when she sees you floating to the top." Does that sound really morbid or is it just me? Caridee thinks that it has to do with sharks. Oh, if only.

The girls travel to meet Jay Manuel, who, much like Karma Chameleon, is in shades of red, gold (which if blended together make orange), and green. His colors truly are like my dreams. Or my nightmares. He tells the girls that, today, there is a special guest to bring the competition to that final level. It is Tyra. She is there to guide the girls in their photo shoots. She wants to see how they work with the photographer, and also will coach them. She says that she did a lot of coaching in Seasons 1 and 2, when she gave a shit. She misses it. We get a highlights reel of Tyra coaching, and it is hilariously awesome. Today, the girls are going to be floating on their backs in water. Tyra hopes that they know how to swim. No she doesn't. In addition, the girls are going to be paired up. Caridee will be paired with Amanda, which leaves Eugena and Melrose as the second pairing. Ooooh. If there were ever a time to "accidentally" drown Melrose, this would be it. I hope Eugena is on her game. Eugena says she knew that she was going to be paired with Melrose, and doesn't know how she feels about it. She's worried that Melrose won't communicate well with her, because Melrose is selfish and only cares about herself. In all fairness, that's how you're supposed to behave when you're trying to win something.

Jay tells the girls that they're going to look like ethereal nymphs, so they'll have extra-long hair and, um, nymph-like makeup. Tyra tells the makeup folks to use waterproof mascara, of course, because the girls will be floating in the pool. The makeup artists are all like, "DO WE TELL YOU HOW NOT TO HAVE DEAD EYES?"

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America's Next Top Model

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