America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Grates

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Water, Water Everywhere

The judges deliberate. Melrose seems to be able to do no wrong, according to Nigel, but there's something about her that irks him. Tyra mentions the hateful beret (if only they knew that she wore it EVERY DAY and IN THE HOT TUB), and Nigel says it's like she's trying too hard. She knows what she's meant to say and do, but there's a question about whether she's natural. Twiggy says that she's continually delivered great photographs, even if she doesn't have as unique a look as Amanda. Tyra says that it was shocking how well Melrose did in the pool. She tried to impress Tyra, and she succeeded. Twiggy says that Eugena's tendency to withdraw still worries her. David thinks that she's elegant and beautiful. Tyra says that she struggled with Eugena at the photo shoot, because she gives up, almost like she doesn't care. Tyra says that Eugena is still there because of her potential, not her performance. Caridee's photo is great, even amidst the hypothermia. Nigel says that he's nervous about her, because she seems high-maintenance and like she needs a lot of attention. Top models get that, but when you're just becoming a top model, you're S.O.L. Miss J. drones, "Me me me me me me me," which either means that he agrees or that he wants to bring the attention back to himself. Amanda has no coordination, but the camera loves her, according to Twiggy. She also looks very new. Nigel says that she has an inspirational face, and that it's the face of fashion today. Twiggy says that she doesn't look like anybody else. Um, she looks like Michelle. Nigel says that Amanda's body is a disaster. Twiggy wants to pick just Amanda's head. David thinks that Amanda needs to know her body, and that she's too young. Tyra mimics, "'Too jung,'" because foreigners talk funny.

The girls return. There are four of them, and three photos. We're on the road to the final three! Oh, who will it be. Well, I'm sad to report that it will definitely be Melrose. She gets her photo first, and Caridee appears to mouth "Fuck me." Classy. Tyra tells Melrose to take down the veneer and show the real her. Plagues of locusts, that. Then Eugena gets called. Wow! Who knew, huh? This, of course, leaves Caridee and Amanda in the final two. And I have to say, that's something of a surprise. Amanda has an edgy, high-fashion look that excites the judges, and her pictures have been beautiful. But awkward. Also, Amanda totally lacks a personality. It's the truth. And then there's Caridee, who has a bubbling personality that sometimes spills and floods. Like, um, a flood. But is she too frail to handle the harsh elements that come along with modeling? So who goes home? It's Amanda. Booooooooo! I really thought one or both of the twins would be in the final two. I apparently lack the gift of prophecy.

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America's Next Top Model

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