Holy camole, you guys. It's runway time again as Miss J. teaches the girls how to walk with "assessories." Leslie's worst assessory is, in fact, her ass, which only assentuates her horrible walk. Nnenna laughs at Brooke, which makes Brooke mad. Also making Brooke (and others) mad is Nnenna's habit of monopolizing the phone. The cumulative effect leads Brooke to call Nnenna a fucking bitch and, quite unfortunately, to say that maybe she should go back to Africa. Maybe you should go back to the pond, trout face. The girls get twirling (and bad grammar) lessons from the "aswirl" twins, who are like a fey version of Louis Gossett Jr. and his extra-fey clone. They must soon put their new mad twirling skillz to use marching for God in a church fashion show that makes me wonder if I popped Paris Is Burning in the DVD player by mistake. The phrase "step with pep" is used recklessly. Proving that karma is a myth, Jade wins the competition and a $25,000 diamond ring. The week's photo shoot involves krumping with a scary clown and his posse to promote the House of Payless, and it is my sad duty to inform you that Jade was pretty awesome. Sara and Leslie krump their way to the bottom two, and it is my hot girlfriend Leslie who is eliminated. This sad news is totally overshadowed by a preview of an even more shocking elimination next week, when Joanie's incisor will be sent to snaggletooth heaven.
Previously: Nnenna was constantly on the phone with her loser boyfriend. This annoyed not only us, but the other girls in the house, particularly Brooke, who said that Nnenna is not the nice, sweet person she appeared to be. The girls had to shoot a Cover Girl commercial, and many of them struggled, including Brooke (who, in truth, is kind of a baby) and Jade (who gave Tyra the opportunity to use her favorite phrase by playing "the blame game" at judging). Jade's attitude put her in the bottom two, along with Mollie Sue. Despite the wishes of millions of viewers, it was Mollie Sue who went home to Whoville. Kind of sad, until you realize that you've totally forgotten about her already.
And once again, UPN, I will not see Take The Lead, no matter how many commercial breaks are filled with clips of Fucking Yaya sassing Antonio Banderas! (Unlike certain other people involved in this site, I may add. For shame, Wing Chun! For shame! ["Honey, don't be jealous." -- Wing Chun])
It is night. We enter the house as Jade talks to Leslie. Jade is crying, and says that she came into "this game" to get the best out of it, but that "this game" is totally tripped out. Knowing Jade and her tiny brain, she's actually probably talking about canasta. She says that she feels like a damn fool. Well, she looks like a damn fool, so it's only fitting. She has a nasty, soggy-looking wad of toilet paper in her hand. Classy! Leslie kind of rolls her eyes. Jade confessionalizes that she was in the bottom two again, and we see footage of Tyra telling her that she played the blame game. Better than playing the name game, though I bet she does that all the time and really cracks herself up when she gets to "Chuck." Jade says that she needs to redeem herself. Well, if she lives as long as this guy, maybe she will have the chance.
Cut to Brooke, who is lying in bed with Leslie. Brooke says, "She's just really pissing me off." But surprise, surprise -- Brooke isn't talking about Jade (who she says is just irritating), but Nnenna. She pronounces Nnenna's name as "Nninna." Perhaps she's confusing Nnenna with herself, the ninny. Brooke interviews that she had a lot of trouble with her commercial last week and heard a lot of laughter about it at Panel. We see a flashback, and it is clear that Nnenna is laughing, but so is Joanie. Brooke says that Nnenna has been calling her a "crybaby" behind her back. We see footage of Nnenna telling Joanie that Brooke cries every day. Joanie (who I suppose we are supposed to recognize as being not evil, even though at Panel she was laughing at Brooke, too) tells Nnenna not to think of it as a weakness, because that's just the way Brooke is. So sentimental, that Brooke. Back in the land of non-flashback, Brooke says she knows she's supposed to be sweet and nice, but that she has a temper, too. Brooke interviews that she doesn't think "Nninna" likes her, but that it's okay, because she doesn't like Nnenna either. Oh, such scathing drama, I can hardly stand up.